First time clubbing, what’s your advice?

47 comments

  1. Cold approaches in clubs are the main way that you will find drama, rejection, or frustration.

    Most people are in clubs for just fun and drink with friends. It’s very hard to actually hook up from clubs. The environment is so busy and competition rich, that it’s not easy to focus someone’s attention on just you.

  2. Don’t do it. Bars and clubs are a terrible place to meet women. It’s so loud, it’s hard to get a one on one, and to even try to talk to her you have to buy an overpriced drink.

    Also picking up girls when alcohol is involved is problematic, especially when you don’t know how drunk she is.

    Save your money, don’t catch a case, just have fun with your friends.

  5. Rule number 1: be attractive

    Rule number 2: if she never sends a hint, see rule number 1 or don’t do it.

  6. If you’re going in with a friend or friends I’d suggest going around and just starting conversation with other groups of people involving males and females I find it a lot easier to break the ice, not simply just going up to one person and trying to start a conversation. Have a chat and laugh with them and if you see a girl that your interested in within the group maybe aim a lot of your conversation towards her. Done this is the past and works well! Good luck!

  7. Lotta virgins in here who either don’t party or don’t talk to women.

    Listen, first things first you’ve gotta be confident. If it takes a couple drinks for that to happen, that’s okay. Introduce yourself, ask her about herself, ask if she’d like to dance or if she’d like to get a drink with you. If she says no, wish her well and go about your evening.

    One thing I’ve noticed is that you want to be fun. Some guys think that standing against the wall trying to look tough will get the girls coming to them. No bro, you just look boring. If you’re with friends, have fun. Dance, sing, have a blast, 9 times out of 10 you’ll attract more people. Everyone wants to be around the fun guys.

    Another guy made a good point that it’s better to have a group, and he’s right. It’s easier to let conversation flow with multiple people than just randomly approaching someone one on one. And if you’re with people you know and like you’ll be more comfortable, which in turn will make you more confident.

  10. I ask them where they heard about the club and remind them politely about the first rule of the club. Then I punch them in the face

  11. The longest conversation I’ve had with a woman at the club has been **”WHAT??”**

  12. Don’t focus on one girl, women at clubs live off validation and free drinks don’t provide either, if she’s surrounded by her friends you will be cockblocked, learn some dance moves, if you’re with more than one friend maneuvering to different venues is going to be more difficult. Most of all have fun, if you just go for the sole purpose of finding women you’ll be let down when you come up empty. Learn to enjoy the environment, dance, drink, and if you’re with the boys. Cherish your youth along with the moments because they pass by fast.

  13. I never been to a bar or club to flirt.

    Ideally I’d want to go with a friend and kinda just hang out with him and make a fun day out of it while also keeping aware of any girls I can sorta bring into that fun

    The whole idea of talking to girls (people in general) in public is basically you find someone around you can sort try to hook into a conversation

    Like let’s say you’re outside waiting for the bus or something

    Me: “man this bus is always late”

    Now if I say that and everyone else is quiet than maybe nobody feels like talking

    But if suddenly you here a “yeah this bus is always late, yesterday it took like 10 minutes”

    Than you reply with a “yeah thats what I mean, the bus is late almost every day”

    And you just keep the conversation bouncing back and forth aslong as you can without being awkward

    Now also realize chemistry is a thing

    Some people are just gonna be easier for you to talk to than others, plane and simple. You really cant be friends with everyone because everyone is different.

    Sometimea you’ll talk to someone and they’ll give you bad vibes, sometimes you’ll talk to someone and they’ll be the funniest person ever, sometimes youll talk to someone and they’ll be boring AF

    Just because they’re a girl, just because they’re cute, doesn’t make them someone you can be friends with, and friendship is the most important part of a relationship in my opinion

    Your goal in finding a partner is basically to find a person you can hang out with the rest of your life without wanting to kill them so much that you actually do it.

    Is she comfortable to talk to? Is she funny? Does she think your funny? Are you having a good time being around her?

    Ask yourself these questions

    A loser thinks: “do they like me? Am I funny? Am I interesting?”

    It’s not about YOU. This isn’t an audition. This isn’t her grading you on your value as a person, this is just two people talking to decide if they like talking to each other.

    If you’re interacting with people wondering if they like you than you’re coming at relationships from a place of desperation and fear.

    How can you be comfortable around someone you’re afraid of?

    This isn’t a job interview.

    If they don’t like you it’s not the end of the world

    Do YOU like them

    Are THEY fun to talk to

    Is this conversation funny for the BOTH OF YOU

    Just becase they’re a girl doesn’t mean you have to beg for their approval. Treat them like you would a guy and just see if they’re cool.

    ——+++

    Now if I were to go the club or bar alone I’d probably just slowly drink a drink while messing on my phone in the corner somewhere and just occasionally glance around to see if any girls are trying to get my attention

    Girls in general have usually one dating stratagy, stand around and look pretty, make eye contact with the guy they like, and hope he comes over and talks to them

    It’s actually pretty easy to tell when a girl likes you. She’ll kinda just hover around in your area, maybe even getting closer and closer, all the while constantly looking in your direction

    Once you notice this you just gotta start talking

    I personally hate small talk with a fuckin passion.

    I usually only talk for the sake of talking at work when I bored and slowly losing my mind

    The phone kinda ruined my ability to interact with strangers because now when I’m outside I’m never so bored I want to talk to randos

    I don’t want to talk to strangers, I don’t want to force conversation

    I think if people have nothing to say to each other than they shouldn’t make up things to say just to fill silence.

    I’m cat a person.

    This is why I only use dating apps, because talking to people online is a lot easier for me than irl

  14. Well, it’s going to be loud, which means you’re going to have to get close, and be loud. So rule number one is make sure your breath is straight. A little cologne doesn’t hurt either.

    Find a chick standing alone and talk to her. The key is to not talk to her trying to build rapport by asking her what she does and stuff. Talk to her like you would a friend you’ve known forever. Be fun and exciting, in other words don’t be afraid to be yourself and the rest will take care of itself. Hopefully.

  17. “Do you have a boyfriend before or right now? . Don’t dance with strangers ladies,except me. I’m the one you can count on me”

  18. Don’t. To say it bluntly, girls go to the club to have a good time, not a long time. They’re going to be drinking, and they aren’t looking for a life changing experience. They’re just looking for a fun night. So, quit focusing on them and do the same. Just have a good time, and you’ll attract them anyway. They’re going to be drawn to the person who’s having the most fun. So bring some friends, and just have a good time.

  19. stand by the bar away from your friend group. Wait until a women comes up and asks for a drink (It will happen, trust me). Buy a drink for her and all her friends, deliver to their table, “Here you go” then walk off like they’re nothing.

    They will get annoyed by your lack of interest, and pursue you.

    This is not fool proof, and might not be the most economic way of hitting home, but the success rate is pretty high compared to just buying her a drink and get clingy

  20. Tell her you got a bottle full of bub and some x if she into takin drugs… that you’re into having sex and ain’t into makin’ love but she can give you a hug if she’s into getting rubbed. You’ll party like it’s your birthday and you know we DGAF it’s not your birthday! – your welcome 👌

  21. Heavily depends on where you go, but if you’re in good shape, have money and are confident then its pretty easy

  22. Never gone clubbing but don’t buy drinks say hi she doesn’t seem interested fuck off on to the next

  23. Treat the club like a bar.

    Post up at the bar and and nurse your drink. DONT stand at the side of the dance floor like a vulture.

    Exchange glances and smiles. Good way to gauge interest. Don’t press.

    then just a non-commital opener. “DJ’s killing it tonight/DJ sucks tonight/etc”

    the main thing is to know your worth and not be pressed

    that was how i did it in my clubbing days, granted that was before most social media

  24. Don’t be afraid to dance even if you suck at it. I’ve met some girls just having fun (also kinda boozed up admittedly) on the dance floor. It’s a good ice breaker.

  25. Bars are a terrible place to meet women? Pretty sure every casual sex I’ve ever had started at a bar.

  26. There’s two ways that I know works.

    Either just approach everyone. You’ll hit eventually.

    Or, find a group of girls that have one guy with them, typically someone’s boyfriend.

    Make friends with the guy. You’re less likely to be outright rejected. And he’s probably bored as fuck.

    Plus, who doesn’t need more friends, right?

    It’ll create an opportunity to find out who’s single and you get a warm introduction to the group. It’s basically cheating, it’s so easy.

    I’ve had a lot of success with the second approach.

  32. Go with friends and have fun. I’ve noticed that when I am having a good time then I meet the best women. I think they pick up on your good vibes.

    When I am actively on the hunt so to speak I end up alone most of the time.

  33. You want 2 club. [This one for Clubbing contest with other male.](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/u8WvEbMS6A4/maxresdefault.jpg)

    [You also want a smaller one to get the girl.](https://www.new-guinea-tribal-arts.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Fijian-Clubs-Ula.png)

    It’s easier to carry uncouncious, but be careful, their bone density is lower so don’t hit to hard otherwise she might sleep for long period of time.

    As for words, I would suggest saying : [This to assert your dominance and intimidate the other male away from the female.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBVHEfZYzb0)

    If the first strategy doesn’T work, you can always try [this one](https://youtu.be/fuUnd9Db6Hg?t=21), but it only works on submisive female.

  34. Eye contact. Its loud as fuck in there so trying to start a conversation cold can be difficult. If you can make eye contact with her and she doesnt awkardly look away, its a pretty good sign you can go over and start chatting her up.

  36. Look for receipts by the nearest ATM. Find the one with the highest balance showing on the receipt. Go to the girl you want, and write your number on the back of that receipt. There is a 90% chance she will talk to you…

  37. Find a girl you vibe with on the dance floor.

    Don’t buy drinks for girls standing at the bar unless you KNOW she likes you.

    Talk to a few different girls throughout the night.

    Most importantly. Have fun! I’ve pulled more girls having fun on the dance floor then anywhere else in my life.

  38. You don’t have to talk to her at all.

    This girl was dancing on a table,it was later on in the night, I went and just stood there and openly watched her, looked her in her eyes and smiled, I put my hand out palm open so she could plsce her hand in mine, she did and stopped dancing, she jumped down and we held each other close but not hugging.

    Then my friend cockblocked me. So yh fkdatguy.

    Anyway, the point is that you should go and enjoy yourself and be open to quirky interactions, be open to being embarrassed, and definitely be open to telling girls no as well. Don’t go there like a scared kitten. Go there. Find a spot. Scan the crowd like you own the place. Avoid sinking into your mobile phone. Definitely go into the crowd and dance to songs *that you actually like*. Because your new mates are right there jamming too. You just have to meet them. I’ve jammed with total strangers that I have given piggy backs too, scruffed each other’s hair, headbang, grab arm in arm and sing… get looooose!

    Go out and meet friends. The girls will come later. Get confident just chatting with strangers in general. (Get a job as a waiter – good practice long term)

    I was in Malaysia solo once and went to the shisha bar underneath my hostel. I just sat, drank a cocktail, smoked a shisha pipe, I chatted with the waiter and his friend came in from the street and chatted too. We shared a little about our lives. Then we never saw each other again. We laughed and bumped shoulders like mates just for a night because the vibe took us. – the point is to be open to the vibe. Breathe, relax, everyone is nervous. Be calm, say hi. If they are interested they will be receptive and responsive. Smile 🙂

    Tldr: get really drunk and make a lot of mistakes culminating in great chaotic fun

  42. Hand her a bottle of water and tell her she looked thirsty.

    Now it’ll mind fuck her a bit because she can be thristy for water, or it could imply shes thristy for you. Either way, ice is broken and youll have her attention.

    Plus its cheaper than anything shes already drinking.

  43. Married gen x dude here. Lots of good advice here. Having dance skills etc. back when i was on the hunt i always looked for the brief eye contact and that usually was a great indicator that i was half way there.

  44. I was at a club last night with my wife, to be honest idk if I would want to talk to half of the girls in there. It’s a mess.

  45. Don’t be afraid.

    People at clubs are often cruising, might as well try to be the hookup

  47. In my experience speaking to women in clubs doesn’t really work, it’s too loud. But again I’m usually on my own. I don’t go anymore, don’t really like drinking or anything so kinda pointless for me.

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