I (30m) am trying to get back with my longtime ex gf (30f) of 3 years. We are long distance and have been the entire time.
I was the one who broke up with her, due to her making me a low priority in her life and her constant excuse making and verbal abuse when she got upset. She was also spending a lot of time with a male friend that she tried to get with while we were on a break, and despite me telling her how uncomfortable this made me, she kept hanging out with him. She would tell me i had no right to be upset and would often gaslight me into making me think my behavior was inappropriate despite all of my friends agreeing that she was in the wrong.
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She would refuse to speak to me over the phone despite us being long distance, saying she was too tired from work, and now that she’s in undergrad school, she says she has almost zero time to herself. I understand being too tired to talk occassionally, and even most of the time, but when it was an every day occassion and she was still too tired to speak it started to become a major issue of “is this true or is this just an excuse”. It seemed like more of the latter, and combined with her spending a lot of time with this guy, I had enough and broke up with her.
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I came back to her a couple of work post breakup and she agreed to try and work on things, but nothing has changed. She still has not spoken to me on the phone and it’s been over a month since we started talking again, and we actually had a huge fight about it which started because I told her I wasn’t interested in only being friends, and if that’s the direction we were heading in that I was no longer interested in talking. She called me a b\*\*tard and said she barely has any time for herself, which I almost believed until tonight, because she went out with friends all night for the second time this week and I barely heard from her all day.
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In fact, I have no idea where she is or who she’s with, other than that she’s drinking and “with friends” and has been most of the evening.
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How do i talk to her and tell her I’m on my last limb and can’t stand to be treated this way, without starting a fight?
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tl;dr: ex and i are trying to work on things but she has time for everyone but me, and makes excuses for why she can’t talk on the phone even though she goes out with friends two to three times a week
3 comments
You could just say “You know what? I deserve better than this. I’m done,” and then send her a message that you’re not going to debase yourself for her anymore, that you’re done trying and you’re moving on with your life, and then block her everywhere.
There are SO many women in the world who won’t treat you this way, but you’re never going to meet any of them if you’re hung up on someone who acts like she hates you.
Your first sentence says ex gf. If she is an ex that means you have broken up and you both need to get out into real life and get looking…lol. For goodness sake don’t keep going back and forth, 3 yrs long distance and still disagreeing is time to move on.
>How do i talk to her and tell her I’m on my last limb and can’t stand to be treated this way, without starting a fight?
Why even bother?
You broke up with her because she wasn’t giving you enough time and attention. She told you she wanted to work on things, and her way of doing that is… To do exactly what she was doing when you were together?
She’s not interested man. Move on.