I know a lot of people. From my block, lectures, societies, even the random guy at the pub that decided to talk to me and text me the next day. I naturally hoped a good few of them I’d talk to often, and some maybe even closer than that.
But no, for some reason the friendly vibes I get from them don’t at all extend beyond running into them.
Pretty much for all of them I had to make the first move to text. Fine.
They give short replies and it fizzles out. That’s just unlucky.
They then never initiate another chat. I’ll lower my standards again and find some weird opening to text.
Eventually they stopped bothering to read my texts. I’ve got 10 chats that have been unopened for 2 days. I never constantly spam them or anything, as much as I wanted to talk more to them I always waited until they replied before I said anything else, which even back then would often take half a day.
I can’t be friends with any of them now, or at least I genuinely don’t see the point of keeping it up when they clearly don’t care. But then I’d end up with a grand total of 0. Uni is really working out for me.
2 comments
> I can’t be friends with any of them now, or at least I genuinely don’t see the point of keeping it up when they clearly don’t care.
Mate. You’re getting resentful because people don’t like you. The healthy way to see this is, “that person doesn’t like me/isn’t interested, so they aren’t an option.” Like, I understand it sucks that no one around is showing interest in you. But you can’t get resentful towards people this way and expect people to like you, if that makes sense.
I struggle with depression so I’ll be the first to admit this isn’t easy, but the best way to go about it is to get absorbed in your own hobbies and work. Initiate with people when you have the energy, and spend more of that limited energy on the people you genuinely think are interesting. As you said above, stop when it’s obvious someone isn’t reciprocating.
If you’re really into something, and there are clubs available, join those on your campus. *That’s* your best chance at making friends.
Maybe try being honest. Tell them you’re interested in making long term friends. You might be coming off creepy if you’re being a little too pushy with the texts.
In reality maintaining friendships takes a lot of energy. You have to put a lot of effort most of the time.