men of reddit how many 3rd graders could you take at once

46 comments

1. All of them.

2. Probably 100

   Is it a mixture of every day kids? Like boys, girls, band kids, math nerds, sports guys, etc?

   If it’s hand picked 3rd grade beasts, probably still 100

3. I’m not sure how many 3rd graders I could take on at once, but I would estimate that I could probably handle around three or four of them before things started getting too chaotic.

4. Those are some obese 3rd graders.

5. Disneyland is expensive and I’m buying a house so not many

6. Third graders 120 lbs? You’re kidding, right?

7. Out for ice cream? My car could probably hold 5.

8. Dude, 3rd graders weigh more like 60lbs!!!

9. How many times did these guys fail 3rd grade? Billy Madison was probably 120 lbs.

10. Let’s try damit

11. A buck thirty and 3’8”

12. ok so obese 3rd graders, id say easily 200. obese kids are easy

13. These fat little fucks couldn’t run very fast. All I have to do is keep moving until they tire out and fall down.

14. I’m thinking close to 100 before exhaustion took over. Possibly 200 or 300 with a second wind, if they started to kill me and adrenalin kicked in. This is assuming they would stop at nothing to kill me, and I needed to kill or severely cripple them. If not, I could probably take on closer to 1,000+ with hard kicks/slaps to the face, enough to maim but not fully incapacitate

15. Exhaustion will get me around the 10 min mark. Ive done boxing and a 3 min round is very taxing if you are not trained. You will get gassed if you don’t know how to pace yourself

16. My record is 63

17. You’d only have to really destroy 1 of them. But it would have to be fast and EXTREMELY brutal….like horror shit where once you’re done, you smear the blood all over yourself and start staring at them while eating a small piece or your victim. Their small fragile minds will explode in full horror and send them crying and screaming in the other direction

18. Regular third grader? 7 or 8. Never been in a fight so I can’t say what kind of animal instincts might kick in. These big ass third graders? One. Maybe. They might have the edge on me.

19. I get that this is a joke but as a 220 lb man that can throw a real punch I imagine I would kill a 3rd grader in one clean hit. Grown men regularly knock other grown men out in 1 punch.

20. Did they get held back? Several years?

21. Morbidly obese 3rd graders? Or fully grown adults in 3rd grade? Where am i going with these kids? I am not a teacher or chaperone am i? Eww. I can take up to 15 at one time in a small bus…which i am lisenced to drive

22. 120lb third graders are likely obese. All of them. All the third graders.

23. I could take them on indefinitely

    They’re extremely fat and short, just keep pushing them over and make sure they can’t grab you

24. I don’t have any child seats in my car, so technically I shouldn’t drive anyone that small anywhere.

25. All of them.

26. As many as you can cram my way, they’ll overheat and I won’t have to do much.

    *looks at 120lbs 3rd grader.

27. Am I just fighting them to be fighting them? I’d take about 3 rounds with them. Did they dishonor this place, by speaking about the fight club? You’ll sadly run out of 3rd graders

28. I’m 24 and weigh 130 pounds.

    What kind of fucking 3rd graders are these 😂

29. At 120 per 3rd grader? ALL of them.

30. They’d be dying of heart attacks faster than I could stomp them.

31. How many can I fit in my econoline?

32. Am I taking them to the salad bar?

33. 120-pound third graders? No need to physically resist. Think I’ll just run laps and let them die from a heart attack.

34. I got a decent left hook and these are some fat ass kids. I’d say 40. My plan will be to take their phones and watch them cry.

35. 120lbs!? That’s almost how much I weigh, and I’m grown fucking man

36. …do I have access to my loyal “rat buster”

37. Why the fuck are they 120 pounds? Are they ok?

38. what do I get to use? if its just my hands I’m sure the first wave of 6 – 120lb 3rd graders could overwhelm my 145lb ass

39. A whole class, fuck them little bitches

40. bro im 23 and im 120lb fuck out of here

41. If you think 3rd graders weigh 120 lbs, how much do you think an average 30 year old weighs? Like 450 lbs? Serious question cuz I’m dumbfounded at how stupid you are.

42. i have a niece and nephew about this age, the little fuckers have stamina

43. 120 lbs are pretty fucking big for 3rd graders.

44. Considering how fat those little bastards are the only time the fighting stops is when I get tired of beating up these little kids.

45. Normal 3rd graders? 72.

    Your 120ibs 3rd graders? 600.

46. damn, those are some really chonky 3rd graders.

    forget fighting, i can probably get them all killed just by making them run after me, and i can keep a good pace for at least 30 minutes, way more if i have prep time to increase my stamina