My GF and I are really going through a trying time. I’ll do my best to keep the story quick but it is a lot.
Trying my best to keep it short. We were dating she had some real trust issues always assuming I’m talking to other women. We eventually move in together. Things were really good but overtime things went south. She stated drinking and doing drugs a lot. I worked a lot and we became distant and always arguing. I felt alone in the relationship and i cheated. I didn’t tell her I just moved out and said we break up.
In my new place I kinda started seeing someone casually. My gf would drunk text about how she’s depressed and stuff. I still loved her and wanted to help her get healthy. Keeping the story short we have make up sex. A few weeks later she says she’s pregnant.
We’re kinda off and on now. A baby in the picture kinda made want to be together again cause we have a family. So that’s what we did. We were happy together again preparing for a baby. She was doing a lot better mentally. One day when I’m work she’s goes through my tablet and seeing about the relationship I had and how I cheated. She goes and lives with her parents and we’re officially single co parents. I decided to plan to move out of state for a better career to support the kid and just have a fresh start.
Long story short again she has a miscarried and we lose the baby. It was very traumatizing for everyone. She came back to my place and we kinda started actually falling in love again. Like I know it’s sounds childish but this time it feels different. Losing the baby made us realize nothing matters but how we love each other and we just have to work through our problems l
Fast forward to today I end up moving out of state for a job and we’re planning getting a place together again out here. We talk everyday and we visit each other. Things are really smooth again and we’re more than committed to each other. Like I see a future with her again.
Last night she called me and we had our long talks discussing everything in the past moving and trying make it work. Well last night she revealed to me that when I moved out .She slept with 4 guys and did some sex work for money. The 4 guys were people are people who make the situation hard for me. One was her best friends ex , another was her exes brother. The other 2 were just druggy guys. She also mentioned she tried sleeping with my friends. She said she just wanted to get back for leaving her and wanted me to hurt. Now I believe okay not have been the father. She says but with the timeline of it all that it has to be me. She says one guy who she actually kinda liked. Her and him still check in on each other time from time. Asking about the baby and stuff. She just kept saying it’s because I cheated and it made her get to that point.
I love her man but I feel like this is something I just can’t get over. Like I don’t think I can touch her and treasure her like I use to. I’m not perfect in all of this. I’m kinda the reason it happened.
Feels like my life is all disrupted now. The fact she told means a lot but I really do see her differently. Never really knowing if the kid was mine kills me.
Honestly help please help.
TL;DR! My girlfriend and I have a long baggage and i can’t really see her same but love her dearly
4 comments
There are SO many women in the world who won’t put you through the emotional wringer. Why are you so desperate to hold onto this one?
And no, “because I love her” or any variation thereof is NOT a reason.
Just move on. Start your life in your new state and find someone who arent toxic together
There is not true love when cheating and drugs are involved.
If she has trust issues, she needs to deal with them before getting into another relationship. When a person has trust issues in a relationship, they are not whole. Those issues poison the relationship and that person traumatises their partner with jealously and insecurity.
Wtf did I just read. You both should be in some kind of textbook close to “mega toxic relationship”