Important information before you read. I am an early 20’s male, moderately religious, not married and currently single.
So I’m just wondering if I’m weird or if other people also think this way. I commonly will think about a situation in the future where my (hypothetical) wife dies younger than usual. I stress out because in this situation I would never want to re-mary or date anyone because I believe in heaven and in my opinion marriage is an agreement that you will both stay together unless you genuinely aren’t attracted to each other anymore (this is also something I fear but know is “normal”). So her dieing would not be a valid reason to date or marry someone else because I still loved her at the time of her death. I cry to the thought that I might not be able to go the rest of my life being single as I would get really lonely and depressed. I know I would try to force myself to stay single to honor my wife and stay loyal but I have 0 clue if I actually would be able to. That thought pains me tbh. Also I know many people would say “but your wife would want you to be happy and move on to someone else” but to be frank (not that I wouldn’t care about what my wife wants) but I don’t care. I would want and need to stay loyal to my wife (and single so when I die we can be together again) otherwise I know I would feel like a super shitty person. No if the roles were swapped and I die I wouldn’t want my wife to stay single I would want her to be happy and I wouldn’t be mad or disappointed in her if she moved on.(yes I know how hypocritical that is) I also wouldn’t understand if she found someone else in heaven (though I would be really disappointed that I just spent a shitty time on earth to be loyal to her and she moved on in a place where I believe you can’t be feeling shitty)
TLDR: Am I weird for stressing about weather or not I would be able to prevent myself from dating/marrying someone else if my wife died. (I’m currently single)
Also sorry if something didn’t make sense. I’m pretty bad at having coherent writing just ask me to clarify if you’re confused.