My husband likes d***?..

26 comments

1. Say you want to peg him

2. Why was he recording himself?

3. No, he doesn’t like dick because he’s using a dildo. He likely enjoys anal penetration. Men have a prostate that can be pleasured with stimulation. Its not abnormal for straight men to enjoy this.

   Tell him you found the video, and see what he has to say. Depending on your views, see if its something he wants to incorporate it into your sex life.

4. enjoying anal play is not unusual for men, this includes heterosexual men. This does not make him gay or wanting to have sex with men. A lot of men enjoy it, because prostate stimulation feels good.

   If you want to have a conversation with him about it, ask yourself what you want to achieve (understand him, judge him a bit?) and be sensitive, as you witnessed a video of him in a very private, vulnerable moment. He might feel shame for his pleasures, since this is generally frowned upon by society.
   Give him a safe space to share this thoughts in his tempo.

   If he likes the stimulation and you are comfortable with it, maybe the two of you can try some things together, like including various toys or even pegging.

   BUT, he should not use your (I guess vaginal) toys for himself, unless he cleans them VERY well.
   The two of you might go to an adult toy store and explore the possibilities that you both feel comfortable incorporating in your shared sex life.

5. I would casually bring it up, as you’re supposed to be able to have these conversations with your partner.

   Men have a prostate and that is their G-spot. This does not mean he is gay or bisexual at all.

   I know a person that likes penetrating himself, but only does it to himself. He is a straight male and does not want anyone else to penetrate him.

6. Anal play is a pretty common “kink” for straight men.

   It could be something that you suggested while you’re being intimate together, suggesting just a finger or something. – I mean the idea of a video being found would likely be embarrassing enough as it is.

   Also, I’d maybe get yourself a new dildo, I’m sure your husband is cleaning it and such, but, that’s a real hygiene issue.

7. A bit weird he took a video of himself doing it tho 😂😂

8. For me it’s normal. I love prostate stimulation, and gave me some of the best orgasms I ever had in my whole life. I never told anyone irl because of the fear of judgment. I have no homossexual feelings, and sometimes I record myself doing simply because I like to see how I perform.

9. Whilst it’s true heterosexual men can enjoy anal play without being bi/gay etc based on OP’s later comments, I believe OP husband is closeted or is unsure of what he actually wants. He is unable to maintain an erection during sexual intercourse with his wife, he elects to masturbate with zero issue to trans porn and he is recording himself with the most innocent reason available for this being he is watching himself but it is also possible he is posting these videos edited online or sending them to other people. OP needs to sit her partner down but it’s important there is no accusations as it’s all armchair psychology and guesswork, the husband needs an open, none-hostile platform to discuss his feelings but it will take some coaxing. I personally believe he has realised later in life he is attracted to men and seeks to satiate this desire by self play and porn so that he can remain faithful to his vows and his wife, but at the core this is likely making himself unhappy aswell as having a knock-on affect on his wife, this is not healthy and cannot be allowed to continue.

10. It’s suffice to say your man is not heterosexual.
    After reading this post AND your (OP) replies to other comments, it sounds like your husband is very closeted.

    1. He dislikes lgbtq people even though he watches trans porn over having sex with you, suggesting a defensive closeted person

    2. He uses a dildo on himself, likely regularly, but didn’t like it when you tried to finger him.

    3. He gets soft during normal hetero sex and around you in general.

    It could be he’s homosexual OR he’s bi/pansexual and wants to be anally stimulated once he’s come out.

    Filming himself makes sense cos a lot of people get turned on by seeing things go inside themselves. That’s understandable in this case, but do double check on that with him as it may be something else entirely.

    You NEED to ask him about this and how you came across the video in a way that makes him feel safe to do so.

11. Girl. You have a bigger issue. You are using a dildo vaginally that has been used anally. I can’t believe you are not already experiencing an infection. I would be beyond pissed about the lack of care for my health and suffering.

12. Well, there’s a few things:

    1. I wouldn’t want someone else to put my dildo in their anus, simply because of all the bacteria back there.
    2. Liking anal stimulation isn’t the same thing as liking dick. The dildo feels good for him, but I doubt that he would be as excited if he saw an actual dick. Your dildo could probably look like a banana and it would serve the same purpose to him.
    3. The videos might be an issue. Did he send them to anyone, or is it just for himself? I think it’s fine to film yourself doing those things if it makes you feel good, but I would worry that he might be sending them to someone else.

    This is what I would do:
    1. Ask yourself if you would be open to stimulating his anus. Even if you aren’t, I think you just need to accept that it is something a lot of guys like and it doesn’t make them gay/bi.
    2. Approach him with an open mind. Tell him what you saw and ask him if it’s something he wants to talk about.
    3. Either way, buy him his own dildo so that he doesn’t use yours. It simply isn’t very hygienic to share those items like that.

    Hopefully you guys can work something out!

    Edit: It might be worth looking at butt plugs for him? They tend to be easier to use and maybe he can put it in during sex. I know one friend who got it for his gf because he didn’t like anal but she needed it to orgasm. So for the a little cute plug was enough!

13. Alot of hetero men get shamed for exploring there sexuality and liking something that is extremely pleasurable to them and then get questioned on there sexuality. He’s your husband be honest and say hey by accident (I presume not sure if you err spying) I came across a video of you enjoying toys and was wondering if this is something you would like to explore together or is it solely something you only want to do atm. I’d also say without being accusatory that you were curious as to why the video was made is it something he wanted to eventually show you or was it maybe a masturbation aid for another time perhaps

14. Hm kinda gross and rude to share your toy without your knowledge….hope it’s been properly cleaned and cared for.

15. I wouldn’t be mad about any aspect of this except that he’s USING YOURS. the HYGIENE SIS. he needs to get his own. And also, why is he recording it? That’s a bit weird. Does he have an OF?

16. Maybe he just likes butt stuff. Though he shouldn’t be using your hoohah stuff for his buttussy.

17. I’d raise it as a hygiene conversation. He’s using your dildo, presumably on his anus, that you then presumably use on your vagina. Even if he’s cleaning it correctly, it’s not very sanitary, he should really have his own sex toy and I’d personally raise it as a, “I’ll buy you one, I don’t mind, I just don’t think you should be using mine,” kind of thing.

18. Hi, I red your comments and others answers. As many have stated
    – liking anal stimulation has nothing to do with sexuality
    – it’s not safe to share the same toy for different body parts, if you did so then clean the toy very well or better “downgrade” it to ass play
    – your husband getting off on porn instead of you, and getting soft when he’s with you, sounds the worst thing in this scenario. It may be due to many reasons: porn addiction, sexuality questioning, gender questioning, lack of horniness…. In any case, I feel there’s something blocking him from being fully intimate with you. A therapist may help in this case.

    Try to approach him suggesting small games again ( anal play with fingers ), gender bendig activities, watching porn together… Show yourself open to new experiences and try not to judge him.

    If that doesn’t work, you can suggest him a sex therapist to help in your sex life.

    If he still refuses to help you overcoming this, you need to tell him what you found.

19. Using a dildo on himself doesn’t mean he likes dick

20. I mean anal play is normal but hiding from your partner seems weird.

21. I suggest buying a strap on and surprise him for his birthday

22. Did he record himself cleaning it thoroughly?

23. I think hygiene is important but this sounds like something you should talk about. Maybe its something that could spice things up? Its just not very clean or nice to use your stuff.

    I would chalk it up to curiosity and uneducated about proper sexual hygiene more likely than not.

    I think a conversation that doesn’t shame him though and mention you found it. Be open and try not to judge. I don’t know how you view sexuality but anal stimulation is one of the most common thing everyone does regardless of gender.

    Filming might just also be curiosity how it looks from his end. And a dildo isn’t necessarily the same as “a dick”. Its better to view it as a toy.

    I think for any conversation you should talk about if:

    He is interested in that type of thing + boundaries for yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable maybe you can be okay with it for self pleasure outside sex.

    The fact of hygiene. If he wants to play with that he should get his own solely for butt play because that is the biggest danger.

    Don’t assume anything or appear judgemental. Listen earnestly and find a way it works for both of you. Some people here assume he is cheating or not straight. Maybe he is bi but can’t know like this or assume. For all we know he just wanted to experiment. Whilst not a guy I have filmed myself at times to see how it looks. I know its weird but yeah. Make sure and just don’t go in judgementally because it could make him more secretive or scared of admitting his own desires. Many are scared of admitting they have kinks that could appear. Non normative.

24. Peg him now and assert your dominance

25. The prostate is an erogenous zone.

    That’s said him using your dildo is unhygienic! Ewww!

    Talk to him. Tell him to buy his own.

26. Get this man his own butt plug. He shouldn’t be using your dildo unless he wants to give you a UTI. Make sure he knows this going forward. Have fun!