My bf has bpd, depression, anxiety just to name a few, which means he has some what of a low libido at random times…
He says that it would be interesting for me to initiate, but when I ask him how he never gives me an answer because he is also unsure.
I don’t want to come of as i’m always asking for sex, but I just don’t know how to initiate sex with him and it’s stressing me out.
Seeing his search history full of porn really puts a toll on me because I’m not engaging with him to satisfy him and he needs his phone instead.
How should I go about this???
6 comments
Text him what you want to do to him later if he doesn’t object then go for it. Walk up to him and start playing with him. When going to bed together just start touching him and teasing him. Walk up to him and start making out with him and see where it goes. Put on some sexy cosplay outfits and walk around teasing him for a while. Ideas are endless….
The only exception is his BPD, it’s in the cluster B personality disorders and is pretty serious. If he has a porn addiction he’ll put the lack of sex on you like you’re the problem. He’ll have you trying to fix a problem that is his to fix, and it won’t work, but still worth a try if you’re doing your part. If that doesn’t work and he’s still into porn I’d just leave him.
If he’s watching porn but never initiating with you I’d say a little bit of this is on him. I also have anxiety so I understand it can be hard to initiate with anxiety.
That being said, if you want to initiate try doing it in a calm way without pressure. You could even just ask if he’s in the mood.
You could also do it physically, get close to him, put your hands on him, go for a kiss, kiss his neck, etc. Just do it slowly and make sure he seems comfortable with it.
He’s lucky to have you, it’s awesome when girls initiate and the fact that you’re on here asking for help to move around his mental illness is really awesome. Just want to take a minute to say I appreciate that you’re taking the time to understand his mental illness and how you can make him comfortable, I hope he appreciates it too.
This is one of those do it and find out things. There is no wrong way for a woman to initiate. I don’t even think his mental condition will have anything to do with it.
You have a very long road in front of you.
If he sucks at communication, he can work on himself to become a better person and a better partner. If he is stubborn and refuses to change then you deserve a different partner
Put on sexy underwear, drop to your knees and ask to suck him off at his feet. I’d be very surprised if he said no.