Currently my hidden bumble profile is only missing harsh criticism from internet strangers. Lay it on fam. đ
Edit: Thank you to everyone who took the time and gave me feedback. Really enjoyed the conversation, you guys did a nice job of providing unnecessary validation and were overall really nice. I am going to take some time and incorporate everything.. and I mean everything.. thatâs been said.
– Re-do with better quality authentic photos, using things like the rule of thirds. Remove others from pictures.
– Reduce redundant comments about memories. Write sincere Ky about how I want to look back in year from today and have someone to wander down our shared old memory lane with.
– have plastic surgery to increase the size of my forehead, so that when I show up, I actually look like my photos. also, pretend to not be born in June. đ
– and more.
Thanks all!
29 comments
I think remove the photos with other people or crop them out. Also remove the coffee/tea setup?
Time to take the plunge with what’s left of the hair dude.
âDonât know yetâ is a tricky stance to take.
Women who are looking for a relationship will pass. Women who are looking for casual will pass.
Itâs good that youâre clear on not wanting more children.
You mention âmaking memoriesâ twice and space is precious on profiles so Iâd lose one.
âMaking memoriesâ is also a little confusing in the context of not knowing what you want in a relationship (personal opinion). Are you looking to make memories and build a life with the right person (ie. ârelationshipâ) or are you looking for a romantic buddy for adventures, but donât have any interest in merging lives with someone (ie. âcasualâ)?
Youâre not a bad looking guy, but these pics arenât good. Learn to use your phone self timer and take some pics in natural lighting (outdoors, not in a car) that arenât at that awkward selfie angle.
Not sure I get the initial joke. Is it that you like the Oxford comma but donât use one in that sentence? Itâs not a terrible joke, but taking a stance on the Oxford comma is a bit of a clichĂ© in dating profiles (like hunting pics, liking taco and travel, etc) so it could be a turnoff for some.
Your profile should be a small snapshot of some important things about you. Is your love for the Oxford comma truly that high up the list?
Change the “don’t know yet” to “relationship”. Retake your selfies farther away from the camera so your forehead doesn’t look like a watermelon. Just think about it: have you ever seen a picture of a male model or celebrity that women drool over where the camera is right up to his forehead, making it look huge?
The profile photo is too much face. And not a flattering angle.
Randy. I commend you for being brave enough to put yourself on here for judgement. Wanting to self improve is an important and attractive quality.
I looked at the photo one more time. The suggestion here are spot on. The current photo looks like youâre looking through a window from the outside in.
I think most of the content is fine, honestly. You show it, not just say it, with the humor/comma part, and you come off to me as well-adjusted. The few nitpicks I have are agreeing with the other person that âgood memoriesâ is a bit too nebulous to be worth the space (although it does come off very positive, and looking for more than just hookup), so maybe specify some activities youâd like to do (maybe bucket list trips) instead, and from what Iâve read lately, I second that âdonât knowâ is assumed to mean âhookup,â statement. If youâre open at all to a relationship, you can put that; you donât owe anyone a relationship, and itâs perfectly fine to decide you donât want a relationship with someone after a few dates.
Overall, I get the impression that itâs genuine and shows *you*, and I think thatâs pretty important.
> math nerd
Bonus points
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I will give my honest unfiltered thoughts in order:
Not a flattering angle – you do not look friendly. Not a good intro pic. To be brutally honest, you look creepy as you are staring hard with no smile.
outdoors not out doors
Profiles praising their ex always make me feel a bit iffy. Just say two great kids and a healthy coparenting relationship. Also specify if they are toddlers, teens, or full grown adults.
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Saying you have everything you could want and more – then what are you looking for on here? Looking for memories makes me feel like you just want something casual, not a meaningful relationship.
Crop out the Step 1 Land in Charlotte as it makes no sense out of context.
Second pic comes across as creepy too. Sorry but its a bad angle, and you just have this weird expression. Maybe try to get more photos of you smiling, like the photo of you with the woman in the dress.
The coffee photo is random and doesn’t line up with any of the captions. What are you trying to say – you like coffee?
I agree with the comment about “don’t know yet” – I swipe left on most men your age who don’t know what they want.
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I agree mentioning making memories twice is taking up valuable real estate. I would rather learn more about your interests and hobbies. I get no sense about the type of woman you are trying to meet.
Gemini is a red flag. Omit if possible and disclose later.
how many bodies do you have hidden in your garage?
Having a pic of you with a woman can be a turn off unless it explicitly states they are your sister or something. I like that you keep their privacy by blocking out their faces because that shows respect.
I’d go for some better photos. The close up photo is pretty in your face. Want some advice? When you feel really good about yourself, take a selfie. Or if you’re out with friends and having a good time, ask one of them to snap a picture of you. It sounds weird, but it’s a good way to get pictures of yourself that you feel confident in.
You mention oxford commas but you have a comma splice in your bio. I’d get rid of the bit about your ex being a great co-parent. You can talk about that later AND you get rid of the comma splice.
Be specific about what you like. Saying you like the outdoors (one word, btw). Tell em what you like doing in the outdoors. Camping, hiking, fishing, hunting people, or whatever. This will help with conversation. Same goes for “making memories”. That could mean anything. What kind of memories?
Your first two photos are the standard for older dudes making the same mistakes on Online dating.
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Ideally NO SELFIES. Get shots of you from other people in front of interesting thigns and not bathroom/car/apartment selfies. This is like day one rookie mistakes.
Selfie pictures for one side and âi have everything i wantâ doesnt sound very nice to me
The love for the Oxford comma is so fucking played out. Take that out. Put in something that shows off who you really are instead of some overdone, one-liner that doesnât actually work. Iâve never messaged a man and said âWow, your line about loving the Oxford comma was so funny!â If anything, I just think âWow, could you be anymore generic?â
And whatâs with the coffee pic?
Caught my wife on that site once.
Pretty much what everyone else has said. You look like a nice guy, and you have a good smile. Work with that but start over from scratch.
The hair looks like it’s thinning out, and you’re trying to hide it. Don’t do that because it comes across as lacking confidence. Get a tighter hair cut.
The photo with the woman you need to scrap for sure because it just comes across as odd having a picture with a young woman with cleavage and a blacked out face. I’m sure it’s your daughter or something, but it just can be taken the wrong way.
Focus on your strengths and more about what you want in your profile and what you are looking for.
I donât have anything more to add that hasnât been said but just wanted to give you props for not being defensive and actually being open to criticism. Most profile reviews Iâve read are just people not taking the criticism well OR using it to reinforce their self-hate. You show a lot of emotional maturity and wish you the best with dating.
Are you missing your teeth? No smile
What is it about Oxford commas that you are so into? This comes off as boilerplate dating profile filler. What was step 2?
Like the others, Iâd recommend some better photos. Go on a hike or walk around town with a friend and have them take a bunch of candid shots of you. Put some effort into it. Get rid of the coffee photo. Personally I hate it when guys have non face photos in their profiles. Ladies are trying to see photos of YOU not your IG feed. Iâm sure youâre a great guy, you just need to polish your online image a bit so it gets noticed:)
Pretty please, delete the cliche âjokesâ
Edit: my first gold award for this? Lol thx!
Jokes on me:
Mentioning the Oxford comma in a dating profile is a lazy, off-putting, and nerdy-in-an-uncool-way to signal to others how awkward you are.
(No judgement of course; you are brave in your vulnerability in asking for a profile review. I hope find you the grammar geek of your dreams OP!)
You seem like a solid dude. Maths nerd gets you bonus points
You mentioned Oxford comma but didnât even use it in the same sentence.
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FOREHEAD MAAAAAAN
Damn that forehead shine bright like a diamond
Don’t post any photos with your child/ren or disclose in your profile you’re co parenting tell them on the date. Don’t be too detailed about your personal life. Just the basics to draw the attraction. Try taking some up to date photos âșïž 2-3 full body, maybe a selfie and one expressing your sense of humour
What kind of memories do you wanna make with them
You need better pics. Any pics you have to blurr faces you don’t need to post.
The one with the kid is the best. The one with the fried chicken is pretty meh and unflattering. Take more photos from further back or choose other photos you have like that. The one with the kid you are genuinely smiling and it’s a very good photo.