My friend and I hooked up the other night after we agreed to be FWB. She laughed at me when I went down on her. She laughed at me when I put it in. She laughed at me when I eventually came. It was like having sex with someone who’s thinking about Ace Ventura. My friend was apologetic throughout and repeatedly said it was very weird seeing me behave like a horny guy versus the wholesome dude she’s been friends with for years. I understood where she was coming from, it was strange for me too, but it was also really embarrassing to have a girl laugh at me when I was trying my best to please her in bed. What made me feel better was when we cuddled afterwards in the spooning position and she kissed me (without laughing).
We’re planning to have sex again tonight. I’m nervous. I don’t know if I can go through another nonstop laughing session while we have sex. I’m all for not being super fucking serious in bed, but it does make me feel insecure if laughter is literally the only reaction I’m getting from the person I’m sleeping with. Should I take her reaction as a sign that maybe I’m doing something wrong? I mean, if I was really good at pleasing her, surely she would’ve reacted differently, right?
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It can be pure stress. If she wants to have sex again it’s unlikely she was laughing because you had poor performance
>It was like having sex with someone who’s thinking about Ace Ventura.
This line has ruined me.
She wants to do it again. That usually means that she liked it.
Not sure how I’d feel about constant laughing. Maybe it was her way of releasing tension, when she was nervous and in a situation that requires adjusting to.
If she laughs like that again (presuming that you decide to try again) it’d be a sane thing to do to ask her what’s going on and sy that it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Good luck
Sometimes I laugh when I’m nervous or in pain (not saying she’s in pain though) or embarrassed. Maybe the situation felt a little weird for her. She wants to have sex again though so she really can’t think badly of you.
I recently entered into a relationship with someone I dated 25 years ago and have been friends with in the interim. The first few times we were in bed we both kept breaking into fits of laughter, because it’s just so weird to see that familiar face in a totally unfamiliar situation. Good weird, but weird. It’s quite likely that your situation is something like that, especially if she’s interested in more.
She was probably really nervous. I am sorry that it happened though, it can’t feel good no matter the reason. But if she wants to have sex again, she was not likely laughing at your performance.
I could see how it could be a little strange, but I would focus on having a good time if you can. She obviously had a good time, so I wouldn’t get too hung up on it.
It kind of feels like a wholesome moment but I guess your insecurity is making you seem this way?
I haven’t had a FWB or been in a relationship, basically a virgin but maybe you could try to be easy on yourself and go with the mood. Laugh along and try to figure out what she finds funny and make the mood more happier laughing. Maybe you both will enjoy it. After all you’re friends and she wouldn’t have agreed to have sex again if she wasn’t enjoying the moment
Moment as in not only the sex but the whole thing including the laughs, and other things involved in general. Basically she enjoys your company.
It’s just my opinion on based on what I felt. I might be wrong since I don’t have any experience in thise scenarios :))
OP, you can stop whenever you want to. If she laughs again and it makes you uncomfortable, just stop and leave.
Like the other commenters said, it might be stress, but you don’t have to go through this if you don’t want to.
She wants to do it again so it’s not a lost cause.
I would think the laughter was more nerves/stress.
One thing that may help is adding a game of some sort. By changing the source of any sexual requests, it may help get over the awkwardness associated with it.
For example, rather than having her friend tell her to take off her shirt, it’s a card saying “Take off your shirt.” If the card says to do it, well, then who is she to not play by the rules?
Strip Poker is an easy one to do. There are all kinds of ways to go about it, but one is that you could each write items of clothing on strips of paper, and draw it out of a hat when one of you loses. Loser has to take it off.
When one of you is totally naked, you could move on to *ahem* activities on strips of paper. “Nipple sucking for 2 minutes” etc.
Don’t read too much into it. Sex is quite a silly activity.
Your consent matters too, sounds like you would be much more comfortable if you had a conversation about what happened before launching into another attempt.
Laughing is probably due to nerves and a little bit of awkwardness. It’s always a bit weird hooking up with friends for the first time and seeing them naked, she probably just didn’t want to make things super serious between you 2 hence the laughing. I’m 99% sure she wasn’t laughing AT you, if she wants to do it again I don’t think you have anything to worry about and the more times you do it the less nervous she’ll be and the laughing will probably stop
She felt awkward. It was weird for her and laughing was her response. Dont take it personal. Obviously you 2 have deeper feeling for eachother therefore is why you took it to another level. My advice? Lose the “nice guy, were just friends” attitude and after you warm her up and get her all ready and wanting it. Fuck her good, make it meaningful though like keep the intimacy going, make her feel like she’s the hottest, sexiest girl in the world. 😉
Hope this makes sense.
I think that whether or not this situation is a good idea, if you are going to fuck you need to be able to talk — that is my universal advice.
You need to ask “why are you laughing? It makes me feel like I am not doing a good job. Was it good or should I do something better?”
Signs and portents are a terrible way to communicate, just talk straight.
Why do you think she agreed to doing it again?
Spoiler: cuz she likes it dumbass
To be fair – I hate when guys are super intense and super serious in bed – it just kills it for me. I want to be with the same person I know outside of the bedroom and enjoy laughting with my partner during sex! I think it just means she feels safe and has that emotional connection most women want during sex with you
Her nerves got the best of her and it has nothing to do about your performance. Enjoy yourself.
Have her take more control this time
Some people laugh when theyre anxious or uncomfortable.
That does sound really weird and unpleasant. She’s probably telling you the truth that it’s really weird seeing you as a sexual person after knowing you as a friend for so long. But hey, she liked it! She wants to do it again. Good for you! I kind of had this experience, except it only happened once. When I asked her how it was, she said, “Well I didn’t exactly come crawling back for more…” You’re clearly not doing that bad of a job.
Your feelings are valid OP. I wouldn’t like that either. You should just bring up that her laughing is making you feel uncomfortable. Either she can accommodate your discomfort or she’s inconsiderate/not the right partner for you.
Don’t assume she is laughing at you.
I had a guy once do that, and It was awkward to have to reassure him that I was just happy and I am a giggly person.
Good sex often includes lots of smiles and giggling. Getting naked for the first time can be awkward and awkward laughter is a very common response to that.
Also sometimes oral tickles. At least for me personally. Ask if she’s ticklish.
I bet her laughing is a coping mechanism with the situation
My gf always laughs when she’s nervous, I’d imagine thats what shes doing here. It doesn’t mean she’s not enjoying it, just communicate your feelings with her and you will feel much better and closer when you’re both on the same page emotionally.
If i were you… tonight have a ton of confidence! Strip her clothes off and you make all the moves. Show her that it’s what you want!
All that laughing could give you a complex, be careful
As someone that also used to laugh in sexual situations, it’s more than likely out of nervousness. She should become more comfortable the more y’all have sex, but if not and it continues, you should definitely bring it up and say that it makes you feel insecure/uncomfortable and ask what’s up.
My man, you are totally good. As someone who does this exact thing (laughing at / in ridiculous situations), it has nothing to do with you looking dumb or ‘performing poorly.’ It really is just a funny situation, two good friends just needing to take care of their urges! And like you said, she’s just never seen you in that light / scenario.
It will likely fade over time, so if you’re enjoying it keep with it!
Run with the Ace Ventura theme and talk to her from your ass cheeks.
Probably a nervous tick because cause she’s never seen you in that light before. I wouldn’t overthink it. The fact that she wants to do it again is a positive sign.
I do this now with my husband. It’s 100% my nerves. After baby I’m less comfortable and more on edge- I laugh. I’m still enjoying it and trying to get in the mood but sometimes the laugh stays. If she’s down again and was intimate afterwards- I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
Maybe spend some time together in an intimate setting without jumping straight to sex? It sounds like she just needs time to acclimate to moving you out of the “friend” slot in her brain. I imagine you do friend things together, like watch TV shows or movies, or having conversation. Try just being naked while doing that?
Laugh at her. Seems like the obvious thing to me. Don’t take it too seriously. It’s just sex.
Bro, the laughing is how she deals with stress. B sides sex is supposed to be fun. Maybe she was having fun, and excited, and it really must have been weird for her to see the wholesome guy she knows having sex with her.
I wouldn’t worry about it all. You’ve been invited back for round two!!!!!!
Now, what time think would be a bad sign is if she started to ugly cry.
Jeez people are too serious man 💀 laugh with her it’s an awkward situation she’s just releasong tension
Who’s idea was the FWB activity? If it was her idea, it likely means she was laughing at the success of her strategy. Furthermore, she is probably into you but nervous and laughing was just her nervousness showing in a paradoxical manner. Seeing as more encounters are scheduled, you might be out of the friend zone soon. Hopefully this is agreeable to you if my supposition is correct.
She was probably just feeling really awkward and possibly the laughter could of been a sign of enjoyment.
I would say it’s ok. But as someone else said if it happens again maybe ask. Probably nervous.
PLease update if she laughed
Ace Ventura isn’t funny though
And she’s clearly coming back tonight to do it again so relax my guy don’t stress it
I get where you’re coming from but it’s really nothing to be insecure about. She’s laughing because you’re familiar but the situation totally isn’t. She for sure isn’t laughing at your performance
Some people, including me just laugh in weird situations, don’t overthink it
Next time don’t plan it & let her see (& feel) you being a man, & not just a buddy.
Sometimes people laugh because they are nervous or anxious, and that could be how she is dealing with the change in your relationship.
She wants to do it again, she wanted it and enjoyed it. Listen, sex is weird and making the transition from completely platonic to mixing sexual attraction in the mix is also weird. She is just adjusting and the giggling will dissipate the more comfortable you become with each other in a sexual context.
Also, laughing, chatting, goofing off, and having fun are all normals parts of sex. I’ve had my fair share of the giggles during sex. Honestly, it’s really freeing to be able to laugh and goof off with a partner when having sex. My bf and I have gotten a case of the giggles during sex from a funny fart sound or one of us tripping or falling from a weird angle or accidentally knocking something over, and went back to boning each other a few minutes later.
I know it may have been a bit of a bruise to your ego for the sex not to feel like the hot steamy serious stuff you see in media and porn, but letting go of that can make sex a lot more fun and enjoyable!
She’s coming back for more, you’re good. Don’t overthink it, do your thing.
I giggle a lot because sex is sticky and gross and wonderful, and I’m having fun.
Is she laughing at you, or is she happy? Is she laughing because she’s nervous, like you said, because she’s seen you in a new light?
You could tell her if she keeps giggling you’re gonna spank her, see if that’s what she wants 😌😉