Is it wrong to ask for a blowjob? I get bitched at if I do. If I try to hint for one I’m Accused of that’s all I ever want or i get “well i want to get off too”. Which i alway make sure she does. Sometimes I just want to sit back and get my dick sucked without doing all the work! When we have sex i do all the work!
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Why is this question limited to married folks?
And no, it isn’t wrong.
A few thoughts.
1. Married unmarried does make any difference.
2. age also doesn’t make a difference.
Your question is more like my partner does not want to give me a blow job is there anything I can do to get one?
Unfortunately the answer is not really. I would think if she was into roleplay or something specific that she wants you might be able to trade.
Unless she is willing to communicate or play along, there is not much hope of it changing.
There is nothing wrong with communicating your sexual needs to you partner. Why would we talk to each other? That would never work.
Is it inherently wrong? No. But within the scope of your relationship if she doesn’t like you asking or feels some kind of pressure it doesn’t matter whether you are right or wrong here. Have you had a conversation about this other than just after a rejection? After you ask both sides might be a bit annoyed and any conversation about sex is gonna be less productive.
You need to express these thoughts constructively at a time outside the bedroom, approach it trying to understand and get to the bottom of the problem, not annoyance. Explain how you feel and ask her how she feels, what her thoughts are and why she says these things. You both need to speak about your sex life and figure out where can be improved and how initiating can be done. Communication is key and there *might* be more going on here than you realize.
If she’s not at all willing to talk about it that’s another problem itself, but try first.
No. What is her complaint if you ask for one?
I wish my husband would ask me for one, at least once in a while lol. So no I don’t think it’s wrong for as long as you’re not hounding her about it all the time and it’s in a moment that feels like a good time to lead to more for her as well.
It’s not wrong to ask, or express your desire for one. It is wrong to demand one, or pressure her into giving you one. My husband asks for them all the time, I’m happy to give them, but we are in D/s dynamic too.
Nope. I ask everything we have sex. It’s usually been a no lol. But she did give me one the last time I asked.
Yes, you have to ask for what you want. I don’t understand her reaction. Can you fill us in.
I suck my husbands duck every day 😋 a lot of times though, I get so turned on that I want to fuck too. Especially if he’s touching me while I’m sucking it. My favorite position is reserve cowgirl so I guess I like doing all the work. He has no issues with me saying I want a turn not doing the work though.
Lmao to answer your question.. no I love it when he says “wanna suck my dick?” Or even just grabs my hand and puts it on or meets my gaze and looks at it lol I always know that’s what he wants and I’m usually always down.
Sometimes since I’m usually the giver though I only want sex if he does most of it..so I communicate that. If he wants it and I just sort of do or am tired, I’ll say yeah if you do xyz (maybe go down on me first or fuck me from behind which means I’m pretty much just on all fours getting railed lmao so I’m totally fine with that too
I am 30, he is 31 for reference
If the tone of this post is also the tone of how you ask for a bj, then you could probably use some help in your communication skills.
(34m) I have been with my wife for over 10 years. I have only recently, 2 or 3 months, started making requests.
From the way my wife responds I can tell that she is into it. I get what I ask for and more. She is even coming around making up her own things she wants me to do to her. We have a golden rule policy.
You gotta find out what her deal is. Maybe she gets pain, doesn’t like the taste, has a toothache, etc. Whatever it may be you 2 will need to try your best to make it work for her.
Was she ever into giving head?
A solid tip: my wife and I discovered at some point, maybe one of us read it or naturally noticed a change… but if you drink pineapple juice or eat pineapple regularly your dick and cum start tasting sweeter. She cant seem to get enough of it.
I don’t like “I don’t wanna do work, I just want to mentally disconnect while you service me” blowjobs, which it sounds like you’re after.
(And before anyone asks, YES I FEEL THE SAME ABOUT ME RECEIVING ORAL.)
I really only enjoy and feel aroused by sexual scenarios where both people are connected and interacting with one another actively in an erotic way.
It’s possible your wife feels similarly.
You could ask her if there’s any way for you to make blowjobs more arousing for her (dirty talk, roleplay etc). The more arousing she finds them the more she’ll enjoy doing them and the more you’ll get them.
Communicate and compromise.
If I want something sexually, I need to discuss my desire with my partner so we can figure out if there’s a way to make it seem appealing and arousing to them if it isn’t inherently.
In this case, your wife’s refusals suggests this version of a blowjob is NOT inherently arousing to her. So the next question becomes – can we change anything to make it more erotic for her?
I don’t get to say “I want this, and I’d like to check out during it. I need *you* to be aroused by it and just do it because *I* want it”
I mean.. I guess I *could* say that but it probably won’t net me any positive outcomes.
No it’s not wrong. You need to have a talk about how you want her to pursue you and pleasure you sometimes. I would explain that the bj isn’t the end all be all, but that you want effort from her.
What if you found three videos of amateur couples where the giver is really enjoying giving the bj. Would you be able to share these with your partner? Find a relaxed, cuddly moment when you both feel satisfied… and say hey, love, I want to try this with you sometime.
And then ask what she’d like to try with you.
Edited to add: once I realized that bjs were all about (my own) oral fixation and delight, and that in no way did I have to unhinge my effing jaw just to get him off… it was ON. But getting to that light switch moment took a lot of research on my part. So maybe… offer her some research materials? Short stories, short videos, audio if she digs audio…
It’s not about asking, but in how you ask. My husband will weed whack or some other chore I don’t want to do… He doesn’t ask, but he knows that’s how to get it.
Over 20 years married, and I just did it for my guy and I got nothing in return because of the time of the month and he’s now sleeping like a baby and I’m on Reddit happy as a clam.
Now that being said, he wasn’t getting spoiled like this 10 years ago because he was a lot less focused on me in general, and the kids were young. So the kids got older, he matured and became a better husband, and now I want to do things for him and I enjoy giving him pleasure.
Question you have to ask yourself is, was it always like this or was there a time when we had great, fulfilling sex? If so, you can possibly achieve it again. I had a good sex life with my husband over the years when things were great. During phases that were tense, stressful and challenging, it was hard to be connected on the same level sexually. And obviously the lack of sex would exasperate those tough times and would prolong them and make them harder to recover from. We’re lucky were the challenges are fewer and farther between, but when they do come up, they really don’t impact our sex life.
Edit: sorry long answer for simple question. No it’s not wrong to ask. But before you do, think of your wife, then thing of that song by Janet Jackson “what have you done for me lately” and consider that message.