What to do if your partner yells at you sometimes when having arguments?

17 comments

1. You need to be firm and tell her this is unacceptable behavior that won’t be tolerated. You do not believe in being treated poorly in a relationship.

   Side note: relationships end once partners being talking to each other in disrespectful manners

2. If its bad enough, find a new partner

3. Get a new partner

4. Really early on in our relationship we made a commitment to each other to dedicate genuine effort into making sure we actively communicate to one another.

   The few times we start spiraling into yelling at each other one of us recognizes that the conversation is getting away from us. We stop, reaffirm neither of us are trying to hurt one another, we love each other, and we want to find a solution together as a team we can both agree to. And generally that calms us down enough to think more clearly.

5. I would respond the same way when anyone yells at me: loudly “ why the Fuck are you yelling at me”

6. We live in New York, everyone yells here all the time.

7. Nothing. Yelling during an argument is normal. I’m not 3, so I can handle it.

8. My wife used to snap at me when she was stressed. Learned it from her mom.

   We had a conversation at some point. I told her that I *really* don’t like that. She agreed it wasn’t fair. Then I’d remind her of the conversation when she slipped. Took a while but she broke the habit.

   Edit: forgot the advice lol. Do something similar, tell her that it bothers you and that you want to have a less angry conversations. Work together to help her change.

9. Walk away and tell her to grow up. If she cares, she’ll see how fed up with it you are and try to fix it. If not, move on.

10. Firmly tell her. That yelling isn’t a form of communication. You’re angry, take a moment to think through your thoughts and cool off. Speak to me when you can communicate as an adult.

    Leave it at that. If she cannot accept that or isn’t improving in that regard and that’s something you don’t accept, drop her and keep it moving.

11. Address it (outside of the fight) as something you can’t and won’t accept in conflict with a partner. Conflict is going to happen, so how someone treats me during it is a pretty solid indicator for me whether things can work long term.

12. People argue in different ways. But you have to know what is your limit and why. I expect when it gets heated that my partner (and I) will end up raising our voice because subconsciously that’s how you get a point across. So when things are calm and everything is in a good mood, you discuss what are the limits when you two argue.

    For me. My thing is insults or getting violent (I include slamming doors and things). There is absolutely no reason to insult someone you love.

    For me I had a mother who would use low blows when she got loud. So let your partner know “hey, it’s ok to get heated but don’t go beyond X” if she does. Simply walk out. You don’t need to say anything, just walk out and say nothing. Don’t let the argument go to the next day though.

13. You need to discuss this with her. I can’t describe how much better my relationship is now that we don’t yell anymore. We take some time to cool down if needed then we sit on the couch and talk about our feelings, how we were hurt and what went wrong. Then we both apologize (even if you didn’t do anything wrong, your partner felt that you did and feelings are a massive part of relationships) and say something nice about one another. Then we’re back to laughing and having a good time. It’s wonderful.

14. Man the fuck up and shout back.

15. My missus doesn’t yell, she just repeats herself over and over. My volume increases when in a heated conversation but I don’t consider it shouting, I’ve shouted across the house for my kid to get off Roblox and come for her dinner, the missus knows I can shout if I want to. Even if I did shout, she would still ignore everything I said in an argument…

16. Counselling could be helpful.

17. Make it clear that it’s unacceptable and that you won’t tolerate it. Tell her if she doesn’t adjust how she communicates during a disagreement, then you won’t take her serious.