My best friend and I go everywhere together. We bump into a lot of new people. If it’s a guys it’s the usual small talk, but when it’s a girl he gets all jumpy and starts bombarding them with small talk after small talk. He’s a question machine gun that just throws everything at the wall to hopefully make some connection. I think it’s very unattractive.
And the worst part, being a part of this there’s only 2 options I have:
1. Hover around him and answer and relate to the questions he’s asking her(Make me look like a loser)
2. Start doing the same thing he’s doing(makes it look like we’re competing over her)
What would you do in this situation?
25 comments
Orrr….
Option C, you be a *Real* friend and talk to him about it in private… Let him know what you’ve observed, and maybe have a lil bro code safe word- to subtlety let him know to turn it down a bit when you’re out together & he gets stuck in his loop….
Alternatively, you can be a dick and call him out on it in front of the next women you run into & see him spiralling…
Like ‘hey mike, why don’t we let our new friends here take the lead, and we’ll answer their questions??’
….
(But remember, having your friend call you out in public can be really embarrassing, so always start with the private talk first….)
Had one friend in highschool and one time he told me to come with him to pick this girl up from her highschool and walk her home because he liked her a lot and chatted with her a little. My friend was a funny guy, very chill dude, decent looking fella. We meet with the girl he liked and I was just being friendly joking with my friend and this girl but being totally disinterested n her because bro code. When we get on the bus I move behind my friend so I let him to face the girl and I kinda stay in the background and then after a few minutes she moves back between me and him and puts her hand on the hand rail next to mine and touches mine. I look at her when it happens, she s looking straight at me, giving me the eye. After this whole situation me and her end up chatting on Facebook and we see eachother for a while. If it wasn’t for the whole dynamic I don’t think I would have a chance with her. She was absolutely stunning looking, blonde ,green eyes, bubbly girl. Just because I was there to support my friend and didn’t see her as a potential girlfriend or sm that made me look a lot cooler than I was. Also, I told my friend what happened after ,he took the L, we joked about it and that was it.
Belittle and make fun of him to make yourself look better by comparison (aka Power Play)
Why not asking him to try out acting like the “mysterious guy” ? Being a bit more quiet and kinda shy… I’d probably go for a guy like this, than an extroverted and talkative dude
It sounds like you’re insecure and taking it out on him.
I’d take note of specific situations and secretly audio record him so you can show it to him later and point it out. Not in a disrespectful way but more so he can actually hear what you’re trying to say.
First of all these are not your only two options. There are tons more approaches you could use.
For example, if you take charge and derail his interrogation train as soon as you notice it, with a light-hearted joke of some kind and some brotherly reassurance, you suddenly look like a cool guy and also just solved your own problem. Just start talking over him at first and steer the conversation!
Talk to him
just let him make a fool of himself, why do you need to act any differently just because he is?
You could always just do nothing
Someone I know acts similar- I pretty sure its a social anxiety sort of situations – lots of questions because of very intense social anxiety. Does this with new people, very friendly lots of questions- but then shys away from same people later doesn’t want to see or talk to them at all 🤷♂️
Personally I’d just not say anything and look uninterested
Never under any circumstances are you allowed to throw the bro under the bus, dick move bro
Had a friend just like this. Ended up stopping being his friend because of other reasons, but he was so cringe when it was around other people, I’m glad I stopped hanging out with him, because I’d get embarrassed, and whenever a hot chick was near, he’d be strange and just because Im associated to him, girls would just not vibe with me as much as they usually do. In fact, he would be so out-of-pocket, the girl I had a crush on (and I knew for a fact she had a crush on me) stopped talking ti me because he would say out-of-pocket shit. I know this because she literally told me this when I asked her why we dont talk so often. Its a shame bro. Id suggest having a private talk with him, but if he doesn’t listen, Id either suggest not hanging out with him in public places anymore if its as bad as it was for me, or just steer the conversation somewhere else.
I used to take my dog to the park, but he got in a few fights so I stopped taking him.
Sometimes friends are good for somethings and not others. Maybe don’t go everywhere together? Only some places that work best for your dynamic. Maybe make some new friends that are better wingmen when you want to meet girls
Had a friend that would somehow always compete with me over the attention of a girl. I always felt guilty if I gave my attention to the girl and ended up not giving the attention at those times.
Which is annoying cuz there were some nice girls from time to time I would’ve liked to get to know better but ended up only seeing once cuz of him.
How do girls usually react in these cases?
If its mostly him talking to a girl I’d mostly hang back and wait until there its the right time to have a three way conversation. And every time after that there is nobody else around, explain to him what is going wrong.
Or, holy shit I might be reaching here, but you *tell* him that he’s bombarding the women with questions
I would just walk away far enough to not be involved and wait for him to be done making a fool of himself
In my professional opinion as the awkward friend you should have a chat with him. Give him tips or sumn
Let’em go !! Sit back and relax : If and when he’s saying and doing to much call him on it PERIOD! Just protect your interest from him and let them know why 💎
I had a best friend in high school who would act differently around boys. Her voice would go up two octaves, and her IQ points would drop to the floor suddenly like marbles. I’d try calling her out in private (and subtly in public, like pointing out when she was pretending not to know something she’s perfectly capable of knowing or some other stupid shit,) but she’d pretend to not know what I was talking about. This was connected to a string of other behaviors she had that fundamentally stemmed from some sort of deep seeded insecurity and a lack of self respect. We eventually stopped being friends over time (not for the specific reason of her flirting, but it obviously didn’t help.) Some people are just desperate. There’s only so much you can do to help them if they’re not willing to consider your suggestions.
Usually in these situations I bow out, excuse myself and walk down the road or play on my phone…especially if you’ve spoken to yr friend about this before and they won’t stop. Don’t be a part of it.
While it’s happening, just tell him something like, “hey don’t bother her so much yah?” And then throw in a little laugh. If she laughs then she could be just too nice to say no.