So I started talking to this guy a couple weeks ago. He’s really sweet and really makes me think he wants a relationship but is kind of sporadic in texting. I’m just wondering how often do you text someone when you like them or should I just calm down. When there is a long time in between texts I worry that I said something dumb and then my anxiety goes into high gear. He is also the first person I have really liked since my separation/divorce… 😑😑😑
7 comments
There really aren’t any real rules to texting. I just text “my girl” (she’s not my girl yet), whenever I see her msg, that anxiety is alway going to suck. But hey, you’re both adults, you’ve got lives to live, and things to do.
I’d say just be accepting that he could be busy or unable to text (like when driving). I often don’t text back when I’m at work, though sometimes I read the texts. And sometimes I need a moment to think of responses. All that to say, just breathe and give the benefit of the doubt that he has something going on.
I try to keep the texting brief and light these days. I use it to plan times I’m gonna see whoever I’m dating and that’s about it. I’m too busy with my careers to be texting all day.
I recommend texting as little as possible. Texting is for setting up dates and logistics (say if you’re running late to a date). Better to set up phone/video dates as date proxies if date nights are too far apart – if you want a prolonged conversation. Texting and then waiting for a response just gives you unnecessary anxiety. And what for? Healthy conversations are meant to be done in real time.
why do people put so much importance on texting? It’s bothersome and tedious. What is wrong with a phone call every day or two or three? what could people possibly have to say that they need to text all the time? Plus, people have jobs, commutes, need to sleep, work out, eat, visit relatives, take care of their pets, take care of their children, grocery shop, cook meals, clean the house, do laundry, keep in touch with friends, volunteer, work overtime, do their hobbies, relax and read a book, finish up school, try for promotions, etc. Most people have a lot going on in their lives and do not have the time to spend perched on a chair texting all day long about nothing.
I strongly suggest you stop thinking the way you do before you run the dude off with your anxious attachment to a guy you aren’t even in a relationship with yet. My goodness girlfriend. BREATHE! Maye get yourself some hobbies or something.
I text them exactly as much as is natural. If you’re double texting regularly, you’re forcing.
I only respond towards the end of the day on a weekday, and sporadically during the weekend or trips. There are also times when I’m too swamped and I’m completely MIA from texting for a while.