So long story short my Ex (M34) is a jerk. I’m (F34) not trying to get back together with him. I’m better off without him, but I’m curious about his behaviour. We ended 2 years ago, I ended it with him because he is a jerk. It hurt me because I fell for him hard but I knew I had no other option. It took me 2 years to get over him through the help of therapy and family.
I’m ready to put myself out there again so I start online dating. He finds me on there and messages me after 2 years of no contact. I replied even though I know I shouldn’t have. We texted for about a week and then he stops replying. I texted him one more time and no answer. I realized he still hasn’t changed, I can’t go back to that so I make the decision to ignore him and cut him off. Two weeks go by and he texts me as if nothing happened. I ignore him. He texts again at night, I ignore him. He texted me again this morning, I’m still ignoring him and will continue to do so.
But I’m curious about this behaviour. Is it him going crazy cuz he realizes he doesn’t have control over me like before?
32 comments
I think you’ve found your answer in the first sentence
> Is it him going crazy cuz he realizes he doesn’t have control over me like before?
maybe, but it might be easier to say that he’s emotionally stupid
Yeah, he’s realised the loss of control and power. Well done for getting away from him, he sounds toxic as fuck.
I might be way off base here, and bear with me on this but I’m guessing it might be because he’s a jerk?
Cos he’s an f’wit.
To be brutally honest people rarely change. Sometimes they do but for every person that does there’s 10 that don’t. You’re 34.. not 20, you already know the answer here and you don’t need us to confirm it.
You are over thinking. Why are you trying to understand him? You established that he’s toxic and that you shouldn’t of responded to him. Don’t wast your prescious time on somebody who can’t even text you back within a 2 week period.
The fact that you’re still “curious about his behaviour” tells me that although you’re okay not having him in your life, there is still something there which you are not letting go of. He sounds like a controlling prick with a massive ego problem. Honestly just block every form of contact and live your life.
He wants attention. Stop feeding the drama
Just sounds like he’s an asshole, I wouldn’t read into it much more than that
When I was going through my divorce with my very crazy and narcissistic ex, I would get frustrated because I would try to make sense of her behavior. A friend of mine gave me some very good advice, “Don’t try to out think a crazy person.”
You can’t do it, it’s like trying to apply the rules of chess to backgammon. Your ex is playing by different rules and has different objectives than you and you aren’t going to figure them out.
He was looking for a booty call, found one elsewhere. Dried up after two weeks then tried again with you.
He sounds like a twat. I’m sorry to say but you also sound naive enough to fall for his shit.
Kick that nonsense to the kerb and move on with better people in your life
Why do you women always keep the door open for idiots like this? Block him and be done with it
Not something worth thinking about. Block his number and account and if you’re still curious in a few months talk to your therapist about it
You answered your own question in the first sentence. Hes a dick. Why do you care? Ignore him and move on with your life.
The answer is that people suck.
Sounds he still has influence over you still. Keep working on you. And maybe change his contact info to “jerkface, don’t respond”.
He’s a jerk. You said it yourself. Block him and move on.
He is a controlling prick… just block and move on!
He’s a jerk, probably a fragile narcissist, but I’m not an expert.
Who knows? We can’t read his mind.
Do yourself a favor and block him. If you can’t block him report him to the site or app, asking them to block him.
Better question is why you are entertaining your toxic ex’s bullshit. Stop talking to him
Why is he behaving the way he is? No idea, but it’s best to move on & not be in contact with him, best to ignore or even block him from being able to contact u.
He’s an ex for a reason, you nor anyone else deserve to be treated like shit or played games with.
Honestly, it sounds like he still has some sort of effect on u, it’s best to just ignore & let go.
It honestly baffles me why good women let pieces of shit back into their lives.
An ex fucked me over a few years back, after a few months of me having no contact with her she msg me asking how I was, I had no idea who it was because I deleted her number, when she said who it was I told her never to contact me again, she kept apologising for what she did & wanted to try things again but I just said please don’t contact me again, ran into her a couple times out at night at pubs, I’d notice her but wouldn’t acknowledge her, we ended up working together also, only time I acknowledged her was when it had to do with work, other than that I’d ignore her.
lol is his dick that good?
Why are you wasting your time talking to an Ex in the first place?
Who gives a shit and move on
I went through the same shit for years & here’s what I discovered through therapy:
– They behave like this because there is some sort of history of abandonment with them which they imply on us.
– I entertained my ex cuz I was unknowingly very scared of him cuz he had pictured himself like that in front of me. It wasn’t the typical “Mera marad mujhe nai chodega” fear🤣 but more like a very ingrained fear of being left alone & abandoned.
– I myself had MAJOR abandonment issues because of my own family history. I always feared that my partner will leave me & he took advantage of it.
– They are messed up, man. They have fucked up childhood traumas which they’re NOT willing to acknowledge. I’ve told my ex several times to work on healing himself but he acted oversmart when I told him about therapy. Pagal pakoda faltu ka faltu hi rahega.
I know how you feel. How messed up it feels. Talk to your therapist. They won’t work on themselves. But you should. Sending you all the love & strength❤️
Its a power thing, it seems as if he doesn’t want you. But wants idea that he can have you at anytime.
He’s a dick. Why reply? Move on.
You already knew the answer and still went and chatted with him , don’t do that.
He’s a jerk. Block and move on.
it’s because he’s totally in love with you and has realized what a fool he is for letting you slip through his fingers 🥰🥰🥰 omg so romantic you should get back together immediately