Before I start, I am a 19f. I am not ugly, but I don’t think I am something to write home about. I have lost a little bit of weight since being in college, so I am finally gaining some confidence. I know this isn’t really a dating question, but I am very confused and couldn’t find an answer on any website and I am desperate for an explanation.
Recently, attractive men are giving me attention. Now I didn’t notice it at first, but the other day I was working with an extremely attractive coworker and he was complementing me the whole shift. Now I normally don’t take compliments as flirting, but the facts he complemented me at least 4-6 times was just bizarre to me. Also, more guys are telling me how beautiful I am, holding doors open for me, which barely ever happens. Now I understand that is a kind gesture, but I will be 20 feet away and they will stand there and wait until I am close to the door. Maybe they are just extra extra kind and I am interpreting this in a way I shouldn’t. The way the certain guys look at me recently gives me weird feelings, like this time their attention is different… I am not sure if this makes sense, and maybe men on my campus are just becoming more kind, but when I tell you these things never used to happen until 2 weeks ago, I mean it.
Any explanation? I also hope I don’t sound cocky because that’s not my intention at all!
17 comments
As opposed to when? You’re only 19.
Unclear. Men will compliment women and call them beautiful all the time as a courtesy. As for the door men are sort of required by society’s unwritten rules to hold doors. If I turn around and see somebody approaching the door I wait regardless of who it is, even if they are fat or a man.
The real test is are guys asking you out? Are they showing genuine interest in who you are? Are they trying to get to know you? At 19 and even average looking you will get sexual attention from men.
If you want the simplest and most likely answer then see below:
>have lost a little bit of weight since being in college
This is it, this will increase your dating market value and get you more attention, it isn’t any deeper than this. For better or worse the world is driven on physical appearance from job interviews to how you are treated as a customer to the dating market.
You have confidence, people are attracted to that. Plus, maybe the weight loss helped your figure. You are attractive whether you see it now or not. Men are giving you attention because you are attractive in their eyes.
People sense our energies even when they’re not aware of it and it will affect how they feel around us which might affect their behavior. You said you’ve felt more confident lately which means your sending out more positive energy lately, this affects people around you. Also there’s the fact that you lost weight and now look more desirable to people which is also affecting them.
The weight loss is the answer. As an ex fat guy I can confirm. We like to dance around the weight issue but in reality it’s a dealbreaker for a large majority of people.
Welcome to post glow up realization. Enjoy the positive attention AND the rare insight that people are usually nicer to better looking people..you’ve now been on both sides of the spectrum. It’s fucking horrible how quick people change isn’t it
How much weight did you lose? Your weight and physique can play a big role in your overall attractiveness!
The most likely scenario is that this isn’t something new that’s happening to you, but you’re just now noticing it because of your new mindset. Confidence in your looks, which you now have that you didn’t before, means you view yourself as attractive, and thus everything you notice will be a reflection of that. It’s called confirmation bias, basically you will find evidence for whatever you believe to be true. You even say that you normally don’t take compliments as flirting; he could have been saying the exact same compliments as someone else was before but now you view it as flirting because you believe you are more worthy of sexual attention.
Idk if this is empowering or bursting your bubble, I hope it’s the former as it’s proof your mindset controls your life and now you got a kick ass mindset.
No Nut November is right around the corner, and the boys are thirsty.
A lot of people are starting to appreciate the quality of dates they can get in person vs on dating apps. Same thing has been happening with me except I’m a dude. I’m personally not someone people even notice, and I’ve been experiencing a lot of attention whereas I usually only get the interest of 1 or 2 people a year if I don’t pursue anyone.
“I am finally gaining some confidence”
Bingo! That’ll do it
Confidence was the key word.
Every situation is different. 34m married.
By 19 I had learned that girls don’t do much approaching. If I wanted to date I had to reach out.
Maybe guys around your age noticed that they have to put their foot forward first?
People peak at different ages! You start having a different glow, maybe your oestrogen level is high at the moment…
Nothing to do with weight…
The ugly duckling has become a beautiful swan.
I would say losing weight gave u confidence, and men love a confident woman