My best friend (F-28) and I (F-27) are not speaking anymore. We had a big fight over her abusive boyfriend who’s manipulating her and beating her and she threw me out of the house to live with him, but I can’t stop thinking about her.
I can’t hate her for what she’s done to me and she’s so brainwashed that she doesn’t realise what she’s done. I want to see her so much.. hear her voice.. spend time with her.. I feel empty without her in my life.
I’m constantly thinking that maybe I should try to reach out to her and try to rekindle things, but I know that if she doesn’t break up with him we can’t be friends. He’s doing everything to keep any support she has away from her. And the person she’s becoming every time she’s with him is not the kind person she truly is, so I want to ask..
Am I an idiot to want to get our friendship back? Should I try or stay away from her? I really need some advice, guys. 😞.
Tl;Dr my friendship got ruined by my friend’s abusive boyfriend.
3 comments
You’re not an idiot for wanting your friend back, but your friend, at least for the time being, doesn’t _want_ to come back to you. She’s chosen her abusive boyfriend, which is unfortunately very common in victims of such abuse. And it’s reasonable for you to want nothing to do with him.
The most you can do is maybe send her a message apologizing (you wouldn’t be apologizing for criticizing her boyfriend, more like expressing regret at how things are) and let her know that you’re there to talk if she wants to.
You’re absolutely no idiot!
One day she might want to leave her abusive boyfriend and if you succeed in befriending her again, maybe you can help her get away. A while back on Reddit I read about how to be friends with someone in an abusive relationship. Maybe someone can help me find it?
You should try to . As you said , she looks to be in a very abusive relationship , it’s very hard to leave and leaving her alone it’s exactly what her bf wants prolly . Also she’s been gaslighted to the point of believing what her bf did is normal . Try to be there for her even . Don’t feel stupid for wanting to be friends with her .