Just to give some context, I have had a hard time gaining weight my whole life. I eat normally like most people. I am not trying to not gain weight but I don’t seem to be able to as it currently stands. That being said, my girlfriend (M here) told me tonight that I needed to eat even though I ate dinner at work. I told her I was not hungry but she kept pushing for me to eat. The conversation then turned to her saying I look sick and I’m too thin and eventually she shamed me into eating. My feelings are extremely hurt and I’m more self conscious about my body even though I already was before. My parents, all my life, have shamed me for every aspect of my life. She’s never mentioned my weight until she heard my parents doing so. Now, she hyper focuses on it. I just want to be loved for who I am. I’ve noticed she’s acted differently recently and her saying this makes me believe she doesn’t like who I am or at least how I look. I just don’t know how to handle this and need advice on how I move forward. I’ve tried to talk to her but she just further pushes her “point”. If I’m being crazy, please tell me so. If you have advice on either side I’d appreciate it. I just don’t know how to move forward. I hate myself and how I look. I don’t want anyone to think I’m sick or that I need to eat more. I thought I was finally doing fine but I guess I’m not
1 comment
That is really hard man. If you’re happy with your physical appearance and happy with your current weight, and you’re healthy then other people’s input is not helpful, obviously.
Draw a boundary and be firm with it. If you like you, just as you are, perfectly imperfect, which you should, then ask them to stop commenting on it, as it is upsetting and you have no plans to change.
If any person cannot respect your boundary then you don’t need them in your life.