for starters, some background info that might be important. I dated a guy for two years, and we broke up last year..that november. then, I got in a rebound relationship with someone in february, he broke up with me on may 1st. then in july, (I felt much better about the first relationship by then..I am now moved on completely.) then, someone asked me out in july. we dated until august, he became very obsessive and I couldn’t take it. my parents (mostly my dad), told me I can’t date anymore. I regret those relationships. but now, I met someone who is one of my best friends brothers, two months ago. it is our one month anniversary today. (she recently just met him because their parents are divorced..she lives with her grandma since mom is in and out of jail and he lives with his dad and other grandparents an hour away. they recently got back in touch and I found out about him the same time.) she got us talking, since I thought he was cute, and we hit it off. we click. I feel like the last two I just went with because they were nice to me and I don’t really know. I regret it though. anyways, I only can see my boyfriend now at work. once every sunday. we also had the plan to go trick or treating together, (with another friend and his sister) but after this I don’t even know if that’s going to happen. I had to tell my parents about him, I was scared at first because they told me I can’t date anymore after I broke up with the 3rd. but since my stepmom works at the same place I do, I knew someone at work was going to tell her since everyone was talking about us. (it’s a very gossipy workplace.) I knew it would be worse if she found out from them and not me. so I told them tonight, and they got very angry and said I need to break up with him. said we aren’t even really dating and I barely know him. they also said there is a lot going on in our lives right now, my dads mom just passed away last month, my stepmoms dad passed away on the 4th, and we also are most likely moving this summer. they said I can be good friends with him, but I can only see him at work and trick or treating. we can’t do anything outside of work, even with his sister. my stepmom was also mad because she thought everyone at work was talking bad about us. I know I screwed up, but I really feel like this will work. me and him click. I don’t know how to explain it. am I being an ass? how do I break it to him? and my parents still trust me, but how can I fix things more with them?
[tl:dr] parents are making me break up with my boyfriend because we have a lot going on basically. but I love him and I don’t want to..am I being an ass? how do I break it to him and how can I fix the relationship with my parents even though they still trust me?
3 comments
Ask them for a better reason than some grandparents apparently died.
But honestly, maybe just be single for a while. You’ve been somehow dating constantly since you were 12, which means you’re probably putting a lot of your self-worth on the fact that someone is dating you. You don’t *need* to constantly be involved in what seem to be very dramatic relationships judging by all your various break-up texts.
Also calm down on saying you love a random dude after a month of holding hands once a week.
Maybe your parents (rightfully) feel that you’ve had a pretty bad streak in choosing whom to date, and you’d be better off single for awhile to figure out how to date better people. Especially how you jumped from one bad relationship to the next. Even if this guy happens to be better, spending some time single will probably do you good.
>my dads mom just passed away last month, my stepmoms dad passed away on the 4th
You’re 15, so you don’t know how the death of a parent can affect you. If they were close, it doesn’t hurt any less to lose a parent when you’re 40. Your parents probably feel like they have to worry more than they should about you.
You have two options here: either you break up with your boyfriend and remain only friends (to listen to your parents), or you find some way to sneak around and keep dating him (risking breaking your parents’ trust). I know it feels like the end of the world at 15, but it’s really not. You can be single for awhile without it being a bad thing, trust me.
Your parents can’t make you breakup with anyone. They can stop you from leaving the house, they can make your life miserable. But they can’t force you to breakup with someone. You can either do these options.
1.) Tell then no. You aren’t breaking up with him. Stay in the relationship. Let them make your life miserable and fight for what you want and believe in. Stand your ground.
2.) Keep it a secret. Pretend you are single and just keep your life private. See him in private. Say you are going to a friends house, but go see him.
3.) Obey them and be miserable.
You are a minor. But that doesn’t mean they can control your relationships. As long you are still being a good person, going to work and being kind to your parents. Why not have a relationship? As long it’s not changing you in a bad toxic way.