Currently my girlfriend and I have 10 months together and I’m fine with her having male friends. she only has mentioned about one and is the only one she supposedly has. I though nothing of it and 100% trusted her. Until she mentioned that before our relationship they had sexual experience one time. more like friends with benefits but never dated.
Throughout our relationship she spoke with him through text but never met him in person ever again even tho he was in the city when we were like 4 months in our relationship. Not currently sure if she knows his intention was always going to be sex when she was still talking to him. She has now blocked him on every social media platform just him and not sure if she has others which i think she does. she went to get advice to him by text on how she did not want kids but i did. she wanted to end our relationship for that and seeked advice with him which is completely understandable.
She mentioned that he technically was talking mad shit about me but to be honest i don’t know. She now said to me she will break up with me if she ever saw him in person or any of their exes. For some reason its fine having them on social media but not fine to see them in person. My trust went down a bit but not that much when she mentioned she talks to exes or friends with benefits while we still dating. according to her she has deleted everything of conversations with i think just with him and probably others don’t get me wrong its a red flag. I asked her if she was willing to get the text messages back she said yes but of course i did not go through it because that’s just wrong.
She also mentioned she still talks to her ex and has him on social media and i was fine with it and before she told be she never had sexual experience with him until very recently she came out and said she did when she was 18. My trust went down a lot when she mentioned she defended him when i didn’t speak well of him and what i wondered is if she still felt something for him. Is it weird that i think i will probably never be enough for her like he was with her. Her family loves him even thought they never met him. She said he did a lot for her, but i also have done a lot for her and she made it look like it was not enough whatever i was doing. I just want to get my trust again at 100% to not have any of these thoughts in my head.
Now i just think whenever she get s a message or notification is she talking to someone. When I’m not with her i wonder if shes with him or others. I strongly believe these are toxic traits that i don’t want but they developed after she told me about him or them. they were not there and never doubted her before when my 100% trust was there. Now its very hard to believe her on any statement she makes because i wouldn’t say she likes lying but she does it plenty. She is honestly the best person I’ve ever met. but after she told me she will break up with me if she ever sees her friends with benefits or exes in a relatively small city which the chances are pretty high.
she said she does not want to hurt me again or destroy my trust and that’s why she decided that. I think she does not want to fight for us, i think she does not even want to be us sometimes. Its quite the opposite on my end ill do anything for her ill fight for her or ill fight for us. She is giving up very easily on us. I don’t think what she did is cheating but she does not want to understand that.
She strongly believes it is cheating but i don’t know what to do to make her think its not. I do believe it was very disrespectful to your partner to do that. My question is to y’all is this cheating, simply just disrespectful towards your partner, or anything else? can we fix us or can we just move on. can i gain her trust back. Most importantly can i make her want to continue us.
Happy to answer questions you guys have.IF THIS IS AGAINST THE RULES PLEASE REMOVE, THANK YOU.
Tl;dr my girlfriend thinks its cheating but i think is not i dont know what to do or fix us but im trying.
2 comments
Honey first of all it is cheating and second of all why are you still with her?? She is lying to you nonstop and disrespectful towards you
It sounds like she’s not honest with you at all, and you’re too codependent to do anything about it. Out of curiosity, have you ever been in an argument with her before where she said something like “maybe we shouldn’t be together” as a way to end the argument or shift the topic?