I (21f) met a guy (25m) online, we’ll call him guy A. He’s in another state, and after a few months of talking he flew me out.
​
We’re walking in a tourist part of town he wanted to show me when I accidentally bump into a guy, we’ll call him guy B. Here’s what happened:
​
Me: “excuse me/sorry”
​
Guy B: \*compliments my dress\*
​
Me: “Thank you”
​
Guy B: “Is that your boyfriend?” (Referring to guy A)
​
Me: “No it’s not”
​
Guy B then asks for my number and I give it to him. When I turn around guy A kept on walking.
​
I run back to guy A and he was pissed. He said he couldn’t believe that I would do that. He said that “went so far past his boundaries”. I don’t understand why, I was just making a new friend. He told me that we were done talking, our trip was over, and that I could stay at his place for the night but that I had to leave for my flight in the morning. The rest of the walk back to the car he just gave me the silent treatment but wouldn’t tell me why he was mad.
​
It’s not like I’m in a relationship with guy A, and I just wanted to make friends in a new city.
​
When we got home he made me sleep in the living room and I saw that he blocked me on instagram.
​
Uber wasn’t working for me so I texted guy B to pick me up and he took me to the airport.
​
I’m now back home and I don’t know what to do. I really like guy A. Did I mess up or did he overract?
​
tl;dr guy blocked me for giving my number out, not sure if it can be fixed
8 comments
> after a few months of talking he flew me out.
You’d not acknowledge him as your boyfriend, or at least as the guy who was talking to you for a few months and flew you out here?
> I don’t understand why, I was just making a new friend.
gah!!! a new ‘boy’ friend
> I just wanted to make friends in a new city.
He paid your way out here, and you’re actively ‘making friends’ that undercut his position as your potential boyfriend.
>I really like guy A. Did I mess up or did he overract?
Messed up. Totally. Even worse, you don’t realize it.
Don’t try to fix it.
Did he overreact? Perhaps. Are you being willfully dumb and self-absorbed about the whole thing? Absolutely.
You and Guy A had different expectations/hope for your time together. He flew you out and you were sleeping together? Then sure, I can see why he found you getting picked up by another dude to be awkward and uncomfortable. You may be technically single, but you were not “making a friend”, you were getting picked up by a guy right in front of the face of a guy who you claimed to really like.
If you’re trying to build something with someone, don’t rub their nose in the fact you’re technically single. It’s understood, but no one likes to feel disposable.
Did you really not realize how sharing your number would make Guy A feel? If not, and you really cared about Guy A, you should have explained your mistake and momentary lack of self awareness and apologized like crazy. Anything less means you have either have no self awareness and/or don’t care about him. No wonder he blocked you.
Wow. Even if it’s your first and last date with a guy, it’s extremely impolite to act that way during a date.
During the date you are together. You can end the date at any time. That’s your right. You say: “hey thanks, I don’t think we click, I’m going to go now.” Then you walk over to the hot guy and give your number.
But to do it in the middle of a date then turn back like nothing happened, you are definitely not relationship material. I would assume you are the type that would gleefully cheat over and over if you ever got engaged or married. No thanks. Goodbye.
You supposedly like this guy but you stop give out your number to a stranger right in front of him.
Situational awareness isn’t your forte is it?
How would you feel if roles were reversed? Wouldn’t you feel humiliated if he stopped to talk to some random girl on the street and exchanged phone numbers?
>*”Did I mess up?”*
Yes.
The lack of self-awareness here is surreal.
Wow. Good for guy A for seeing the toxic you. Shame on you.
My hope is that you can learn and grow from your poor behavior and do better by others.
Lmao what did you expect?