I (22F) have been talking to a guy (20) for around two weeks already. I live in a big city while he lives in a town around an hour away from me. Since the beginning I told him I would prefer to have our first date in the city and in a place I am comfortable in because i am a very small girl and i dont like being caught in the dark alone. However, he keeps pushing me to go to his hometown assuring me “that it’s safer than the city”. I have already told him no 3 times to his idea and he knows I don’t drive. We get along on text so I don’t know whether I should just push aside my frustration at this.
6 comments
The fact that he’s disregarding your comfort is a bad sign. Not that I suspect he’s going to harm you (although that’s always a concern), but in a good relationship, you listen and respect each other’s comfort level. The fact that he’s not willing to do that for your first date (when he should theoretically be trying to impress you) doesn’t bode well for a future relatioship.
I’d give this guy a miss until he starts showing some respect for how you feel. You’re being perfectly reasonable and you feeling safe should be at the top of his priorities.
If he keeps pushing you to do something you don’t feel comfortable or safe with, that’s a bad sign. Especially if he hasn’t given you a good reason why he can’t meet you in the city.
A 1 hour train/bus ride late at night is not safe for any woman.
Don’t know if he’s pushing for you to his town, so he can ‘persuade’ you to stay over, but seems pretty sketchy to me.
Offer to pay for his gas, so there’s literally no cost to him but an hour of his time. Don’t worry, it’s a test. If he keeps on pushing for you to come to him, you know what his *real* agenda is. I would cut ties at that point.
Especially for your first date, I strongly suggest you stick to doing what’s comfortable for you.
Tell him to come to your city, or else no date.
You have said no 3 times. If he can’t respect that, I wouldn’t even waste any more time on him.