have no meaningful relationship to her before, but we did text a little but it didn’t really go somewhere. She’s a batch mate of mine. But recently she won’t stop texting me. I am going through some things right now and quite stress about it. So i didn’t respond. I thought she will get the vibes i am trying to give. She texted again, and again i didn’t respond. I think its more than a year now and she still tries to reach out. I felt bad, and i acknowledge her effort. But there are reason why i didn’t respond even once in the past year. First, i am quite insecure in my place of life right now and in hiding(i became a shut in). Second, I’m bad at texting and not in the mood at all for that. Third, she over complements me and I don’t like to be treated like that. Fourth, it seems like she has a different view on me, like im this handsome man(not really) and im afraid to dissapoint her. Fifth, she pushes her self too much and act so close to me, but we’re not close at all, best i can say about our relationship with each other is that we can agree at some things. Sixth, she got onto star wars just because i like it(i think she just did it to please me). Seventh, I have never got into relationship before and afraid to be manipulated (since i am gullible, passive and quite submissive). Eigth, i am quite toxic and negative right now, don’t want to drag her. Ninth, im just afraid to open up, and have nothing to offer. Last, she is pretty but she’s just not my type.
TLDR: A girl texted me. I didn’t respond. But she continues to text again and again for a year.
What do i do? Does she raise a red flag?(over complementing and tries to get close quickly.) Or is she just concerned and kind?(i dont really know if she knows of my current well being and position in life). If she is the former how should i make her stop because i am new to this and quite bad at expressing my thoughts. Any advice is appreciated.
1 comment
Tell her something like “Hey I’m gout through some things personally and I just don’t want to keep up the momentum at which we’ve been texting – I feel like I’ve mislead you and I 100% own that, I should have said this months ago but here we are … I’d rather be now then not at all”
If she asks you what she’s done / to expand on why, don’t go into it (honestly you sound like you’ve got some issues to sort out and you should not take that out on her) just say “it’s really not about you, as I said I have some personal stuff going on and want to focus on myself and don’t want to keep up this momentum as it’s distracting me from my personal goals. You wish you all the best and look forward to seeing you at Bob’s party next week” (or when ever you will see her next so it’s not weird).
As an individual you need to learn to have these conversations WAYYYYY earlier in the friendship / relationship and not lead people on like that.