Why I have to do all the work of approaching?

7 comments

1. Just how society works nowadays. The way to beat your social anxiety is to expose yourself to those situations that you feel anxious about.

2. I don’t think anyone should wait for someone to approach them. All the biology stuff is BS. Women are socialized not to approach because we are told men want to persue. The thrill of the chase and all that B’s. There are men who don’t want women who would make the first move just as there are women who don’t buy into all the B’s. I have made the first move in almost every relationship I have had… And I too suffer from social anxiety.

3. 1) “Why won’t she come when I beckon her with a finger” is a question one asks about a trained dog, not a person.
   2) You do not know she wants to talk. If you did, you would know why she wasn’t because you’d have mind reading powers. Maybe she just doesn’t want to, and that is valid and must be respected.
   3) You cannot expect someone else to do the same thing you will not do. It’s hypocritical and unrealistic.

   No one owes you any effort to provide you things you want, especially if that “thing” is them. If your social anxiety is so bad that you can not approach people, you need professional counseling. I have social anxiety and am on meds to help calm the symptoms, and I talk to a counselor once a month. It helps.

   Edit for clarity: I am a woman, and I asked out the man that is my husband.

   Further edit: I can tell by your other responses, pertaining to both feminism and generalized female behaviors, that you need more respect for women’s autonomy. That should probably be discussed with a therapist as well.

4. Women almost never approach, if you keep waiting for a woman to approach you wont talk to a lot of women. They will approach you only if they see you are an exceptional and rare male, sometimes not even then.

   You need to smile, go in, tap her, “hey, I think we should meet”, talk to her and get her number.

5. Its just how society works. But at the same time society doesn’t expect for women to engage, so they are stuck with people that want to interact with them.

6. tirale una sonrisa y si te la devuelve le mandas vs xq si no va a ver a otro que si se le acerque ( que se anime).

7. Okay so if she’s looked at you multiple times and is basically eye fucking you, she’s telling you she’s interested and likes what she sees. Girls are hardly EVER going to approach you this is her version of approaching.

   If you also like what you see and you truly want to meet her, stop pissing yourself, don’t think about it and go talk to her.

   It’s not going to be as bad as it seems.

   Something easy to say is, “Hey what’s your name you look like someone I’d like to meet”

   After she responds, you can introduce yourself and make small talk about wherever you’re at like the school, gym or park etc.

   Then grab her instagram or number, don’t talk her ear off.

   You can say, “Well look I’m meeting up with some friends so I gotta run but you should take my Instagram and maybe we could hang out sometime.”

   Girls HARDLY ever get approached especially beautiful ones, so take pride in you doing it. Whatever happens, happens