So I (18F) recently broke up with my boyfriend (18M). We dated for over a year and a half. I deleted every single picture that reminded me of him, I deleted all the messages and I blocked him everywhere. But I don’t know what to do with the gifts he gave me. And since we were in a ldr I can’t just give them back to him. I don’t know if i should throw them away. I would feel bad if i did this because he put effort and money to afford them. So what’s the best thing to do ?
TLDR : I can’t decide what to do with the gifts that i got from my ex
11 comments
It depends on the kinds of gifts and what you want to do with them. You can keep them, you can toss them, you can donate them, or you can regift them to people you know. If it’s stuff like a sentimental stuffed animal, then it probably has little value and if you don’t want to keep it, tossing it likely makes sense or you can try to give it to someone who has a pet that likes stuffed animals or whatever. If it’s something practical, then usually there is some new way it can be of benefit.
Let’s talk about what the gifts are.
Are there clothes and jewelry you can donate to a thrift shop or women’s shelter?
Are they stuffed animals or other cute trinkets that you can pass along to the little sister of a friend?
Throw them in the nearest trash can, obviously.
When I left my ex I put everything from her away in a box until a later date (I actually had my mom take the box and not let me know where it was) when I was ready, I asked for the box back and it no longer hurt to think about throwing out all the stuff in it, so then it all went into the trash 🙂 just an idea… no decisions have to be made immediately
I’d give them to one of his family members or friends if it’s jewelry or something. Clothes just donate or keep them.
Send what you can back, donate what you can or give it to a d.v shelter if appropriately
I mean, depends what the gifts are… I have never had any problem continuing to use things I got that are actually nice and I like – it’s just stuff!
I still have stuff an ex boyfriend gave me like 20 years ago that I still sometimes wear and I am married to someone else now 😂
The gifts became yours the moment they were gifted to you. You can sell them or donate them or keep them
My ex gave me a Nixon Star Wars watch. I kept that, I mean I earned it for all the shit she put me through. It depends I guess.
BUUURRRRNNNNN THEMMMMMM >:D A bonfire of past memories to burn away just like the stain of the past.
(That, or, y’know…donations. Donating is the kind hearted thing to do, but if it was a particularly bad breakup, I would choose one thing in particular to absolutely TORCH IT)
To give a different answer here, if you and your ex broke up respectfully (no cheating, manipulating, etc.) keep everything in a box and hide it somewhere. Just keep it there for a while, and then you can decide what to do with it.
Same goes with pictures, I wanted to delete all my pictures with my ex as soon as we broke up but I just locked them away so that I couldn’t see them easily and now I am so glad I did that. We created such nice memories, how sad is it that it will be all thrown away because of a temporary feeling of pain? A year later, I now look back at these pictures fondly, I am happy I got to spend those nice times in her company (even though I still support the decision of me having broken up with her).
Once you’re in a calmer state of mind, then you can make a better judgement as to how these bits of your memory can or can’t be discarded. Until then, just wait and focus on healing!