I’m in my mid-20s and have no friends at all. All I have is my SO, and he’s great, but I need more than one person in my life. He also has no friends, but says he only needs me. Issue is, I have no idea how to befriend anyone. The last time I made any friends was when I was at university. Any advice?
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It is difficult. People are pretty wrapped up in routine; wake up, chase money, raise the kids, go to bed, repeat.
Used to have hobbies and met a few people, but they moved on. Made a friend recently at work, the only thing we have in common is a really bad supervisor. Likely won’t last.
Meetup.com, bumble bff, sports clubs, yoga class and such, and “new in town” type events on facebook (but yeah, depending on where you are, facebook might just hook you up with 40+ or something)
I wrote on a local facebook page for my area. “Looking for a gym partner 4 days/week at nordic wellness. It’s always easier to keep routine with friends right”
A married woman about me age responded. I’m married too, 1 month later we are best friends tbh and they are coming over for dinner at our place
Board games
First, as Pokerisnice mentioned, you have to go to a place where you can see potential friend candidates REGULARLY. Then strike up regular conversations with people there. Learn their names and their stories. Bring what I like to call PIE: Positivity, Interest in others and ENTHUSIASM. After you develop a rapport, invite them to do something with you OUTSIDE THE PLACE WHERE YOU KNOW THEM. That’s how friendships begin.
Good luck!
Join clubs. But not just any clubs.
Join a club that has different levels of skill, where beginners will be thrown into one class. I joined a Krav Maga club in April and now I have a solid social circle, two of them I would already consider good friends, not “just” friends. The other beginners didn’t know too many people either, which made it quite easy to connect to them.
But this didn’t just happen. I went out of my way to get to know people. I introduced myself to everyone, which was weird at first, but less so later. I make sure to either pick up a topic we’ve been talking about last time or ask them how they’re doing when I see them.
Since then, for whatever reason, I also got to know other people. Mostly by joining other events. I volunteer at a sanctuary, but this is not as productive from a social networking standpoint.
Clubs. That’s where it’s at. Make sure to be likeable though. Being shy and competent can easily look like arrogance. I know, it’s weird, but that’s what it can feel like from the outside.
In the same boat. 27, all two of my friends have SOs and I’m by myself
[Check this blog post out.](https://anadvi.com/?p=65) To summarize it, friendships are made through proximity and frequency. Seeing the same people on a regular basis. A classroom setting like university was a perfect setting for this. Now as an adult you need to find settings that provide a similar situation. That blog post I linked has a list of potential ideas.
Another way to put what a bunch of commenters have already said… join interest-based communities. You need to be seeing the same people regularly over a long period of time.
After that there’s usually a stage of putting some effort in to make some of the friendships exist outside of the group as well. It’s not as easy as it should be these days because people have become so reserved. But one element of good news is that even before you’ve turned some of those connections into close friendships, the community will fill a lot of your social needs–including some that don’t even get filled by regular friendships.
Make a list of your interests or interests you’d like to acquire, then go seek out communities based on them. You can also post in this sub for suggestions on where to find these.
The only way I’ve done it other than work is to join activities. One of the people I took TKD with I’ve known for 20 years. If you enjoy hiking and know how to pay attention and know when to talk and be quiet you will get lots of people who invite you each time they plan a trip. Same with canoe or kayak groups.
Socialize ,share interest with whom you think you look alike in thoughts specially those who have a free spirit and funny traits. Nobody deserve to be alone and i think as well as your are searching for that so you have the desire.
My mum met nice people at the gym . So maybe you could get a hobby
Friendships happen when you spend time with someone on a regular basis, the more time you spend with someone the more likely you are to open up and relax around them.
With that being said though its still kinda hard to specifically answer your question because it really depends on your situation.
You can make friends at work, or school(college/trade/etc), maybe at a store that you are a regular at, hobbies can lead you to meeting people with similar interests.
Whats most important though is to be yourself. And I mean truly be yourself, you cant make everyone happy so you might as well make those that like you for who you are even more happy.
U don’t
The friends I have made as adults broadly fall into:
People who share the same hobbies
People with kids the same age as mine and, perhaps critically, my SO befreinded their SOs
I agree with what others have said that it’s talking to people on regular basis that builds relationships, personally I find that the friends I have made myself have been through hobbies BUT my hobbies (D&D, boardgames, etc) are built around talking with people.
If I were going to the gym, or when I have been taking kids to sports, because I wouldn’t or haven’t had anything to talk to people about I wouldn’t/haven’t made friends…
It’s hard for me too. Solo, 29(M)
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At this point, my trust for any friends has been disrupted. Even current friends, I simply had to cut off. My soul just wasn’t having anymore drama.
I used bumble bff and made a friend over the summer. just so know though, it’s a lot of time and effort getting to know people through text and sometimes you end up not vibing in person. Sometimes people cancel on you. I even had someone that didn’t show up. It can be a journey and can feel very discouraging, but I think it’s worth it. With my new friend, we connected instantly and I actually went to her wedding this month 🙂
Listen, if you two only have each other you make the other person your entire world – this is a recipe for disaster.
It’s important to have outside relationships so it doesn’t tout sooo much pressure on the one. One person can’t be your therapist, lover, adventure buddy, foodie buddy, shopping buddy, co parent, co decision maker (that’s too much pressure).
You can join clubs, take classes,!get to know peopl in your neighbourhood.
Making friends roses TIME, so be patient
It kind if depends what you are into, but you may try activity groups. I joined groups like Zog Sports and a softball team that was looking for players in a league. It really helped! There are running clubs, fitness classes, art classes etc. Volunteering is a good way to meet people as well. Even participating in local political or government groups, neighborhood meetings.
My question is how do y’all meet a significant other while having no friends
Honestly for me (25F) I organised dinner for people.
I invited people over to my house and made them food. Most people will come for free food. Be sure to invite people who you think will get along.
I also play games with them like trivia or a charades app.
Best of luck x
Probably with cardboard and scissors 😂 seriously, if you find a foolproof method, let us know
It takes work to make and keep friends. And friendships can end easily if life gets in the way. To keep friends, you can’t let life get in the way. I think most busy people don’t have friends. They have their priorities set up so their life is taken care of. Friends take extra work that’s not necessary to daily life. So it would feel like another chore or job. Having friends is like having another family member or a close coworker. If you like them enough to see them on your free time, friends are nice.
Reach out to old friends and rekindle the friendships. Find activities such as joining classes, going to the gym and find friends through mutual interests.
Do you work? If so, initiate conversations there as well.
I am still trying to figure it out myself. While some of the suggestions here seem helpful, these are things I know.
It’s worth looking more on the inside – What kind of friendship do you want to have how do you want to feel in it and how is it going to improve your life? Then a good question is – what am I willing and able to offer others as a friend? Who am I really as a person? All this important, because there are opportunities we sometimes don’t recognise and fail to act on. So becoming conscious of an interest, choosing to do something and then making a step to connect (eg. say something engaging, ask a question).
Best of luck to you!
Alot of comments have suggested really great methods to make friends, but the easiest I think would be to start a blog.
Late 20’s
I don’t have friends. I can only attend to work and then home.
Not sure if someone’s mentioned this already but Bumble BFF is awesome for meeting other women your age who are looking to make new friends! Just make sure you schedule a time to meet up in person as that’s the only way to really make it work… chatting on the app gets old and if no one “makes a move” then it likely will go now where
I think the best way to do it is join a club or an online community doing an activity that u r already passionate about. This leads to an open dialogue that can be had about this very thing that u r very passionate about and it can ultimately result in u being happier, friendly, and thus more willing to open up conversations that pertain to subjects outside of what u r passionate about. There may be some friendless people here that think they are losers somehow. Know you are not! You probably just feel more progressive in solidarity and even if u don’t, it’s better to be alone literally than feel alone around toxic people or people u just simply don’t like.