I feel like i start being too vulnerable with new people than say others would.
Today had lunch with one person and was having a rough day and went into too much of a detail. This person didnt get much of my experience. I’ve had pretty bad luck with people and somehow ending up with people who are not good for me. I worked on myself and stopped being a pushover and started adding boundaries. Tried not keeping the victim narrative. Despite this came across a toxic person that i only realized was so after I practiced my boundaries. I know i had an off feeling but there was no proof. I know i should be happy this person showed their true colours. I dont even care about them. But i do care that they gaslit me which triggered my other trauma.
Ended up oversharing with a peer at lunch. I feel so ashamed and like i scared him away with my intensity. How do you stop being intense (i dont mean in a creepy way, just that i feel and think deeply and am pretty upfront after previous experiences. )
3 comments
Keep in mind boundaries of other people too, not just yours. Trauma-dumping on others without warning and concent is breaking someone else’s boundary.
Journaling is great to process triggering events, and bring down the intensity of your emotions.
I have had the same problem when I was younger, I trusted people and talked alot about myself, but didnt get anything in return most of the time, after that I felt ashamed and thought to myself why did I share this with them. Now I’m older and I dont share as much information about myself anymore.
I would say this is just your personality and theres nothing wrong with it. If it bothers you, you can be mindful about it, like only talk about when other person shares something about them, then its fair right? 🙂 or you try to control yourself and not talk so much. You can look at this in positive way too, because it filters out the people who dont know how to cope with you and eventually you will find the people who are right for you.
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