Normally the advice for this is, “It’s actually a good thing no one cares, because you can just be you!” This not only diminishes the experience and it avoids addressing the problem. Whenever you, or anyone else approach someone to start a discussion, casual or not, deep down, you expect to be respected, heard and accepted, and for the other person to value what you have to say and value your company.
So unfortunately, while people can be pretty dismissive and unwelcoming for things that aren’t necessarily reflective of your true value, I refuse to accept that I don’t deserve a normal social life. What can I do to command more respect, and not be dismissed and rejected so often?
FYI, this is about platonic interactions
2 comments
I’d suggest posting again on this sub and another one. I don’t have any advice but it seems that this isn’t gaining any traction. Posting the same thing again and on multiple subs helps with getting responses though.
For every single human interaction on earth there is always a degree of power involved.
People will judge you unconsciously on what degree of power they perceive you have.
Power is your ability to shape reality to your will. There are many types of power. Strengh is the ability to manipulate matter and move weight. Beauty is the ability to make others feel good just by looking at you and desire you. Charisma is the ability to convince others, make them laugh and feel good about themselves. Wealth is imaterial power which can be used to buy goods, services and solve problems.
Whenever you meet someone you will always judge, deep down within yourself, what kind of power people have. It is why children, teens and even young adults can feel intimidated when they deal with mature adults.
With power comes status. With status come respect and admiration.
If you want to be respected you need power.
Power in high school is being good at sports. Power in university is completing projects, creating connections and create oportunities for future jobs. Could be knowing how to engage people, be well know and charismatic. Power among homeless is knowing how to get food and shelter, know who to respect and fear.
Money, beauty, strengh, charisma, wisdom, inteligence. These are just some exemples. There are many more.
When you have power you get status and respect. That means that instead of pursuing others, others will pursue you. I know plenty of people who CRAVE attention and it seems many of them pursue power just so that others listen to them.
So, among everything else, pursue and attain power. With power you will be able to start shaping reality (buy goods, travel, dress nicely, atract mates). Then you.will have to learn how to use power in a wise way. Many spend their entire paycheck on meaningless things. Many cheat on their wives because they can atract multiple women.
First comes power. Then comes the wisdom about how to use it. Morality. Using your power for good or evil.
With power you atract people. With morality you choose which people atract you.
Nothing on earth is given to you on a plate,.much less attention. Social interactions take time, energy and status. The people you interact with also shape the way others look at you. So if you want others to respect you, first you need to respect yourself.
Selfworth comes from the perception you have about your ability to take care of yourself and the chalenges life throws at you.
In short, power.
So learn about power and start using it on your life. Hone your skills, improve your abilities, improve your body, your mind, your heart and your spirit. Do it for.its own sake but also to pursue an objective.you have.
Do.you want to be an engineer, a philosopher, an actor, a carpenter, a nurse, a writer? How do you want to shape reality? What kind of problems do you want to solve for others?
Life throws us chalenges as we grow old and its expected that you have overcome many of them as life goes.own. what kind of chalenges is life throwing at you right now? Are you ignoring it? Letting others solve them for you? Or.are you tackling them and growing due to it?
Power. Respect. Status. Self worth. Purpose. These are the things that make people interested in you. But you should do them for yourself. The interest of others will be secondary.