Throwaway because he follows my main
This has been an issue ever since we started having sex about a year ago. He usually takes around 5-10 minutes to cum by himself, which is the way he usually finishes. I’m not very sexually experienced, but i can make him feel good and he himself says that he is not unsatified. We also have a very open conversation about kinks and such, so i don’t feel like he is hiding some “hidden kink”. We have a very understaning, communicating and loving relationship otherwise, and we both feel really comfortable with each other. He is not on any antidepressants, he doesn’t masturbate often and he generally has a quite healthy lifestyle.
I really haved tried everyting, i have tried to perfect my technique so it gives him the most pleasure possible, and he really enjoys it. I will do this to the point when im just physically exausted, we have gone on for over and hour a couple of times, but he still can’t cum from my stimulation alone.
It just makes me feel wortless and like i’m a bad gf… I would love to get some advice.
16 comments
it’s really good that you have solid communication in your relationship. So you already know the answer, communicate! Tell him your issue. Also from my experience anxiety plays a big role in orgasms. When I’m nervous I can’t finish although I may really enjoying myself. So ask if he may have anxiety in his work environment or in his life in general!
>I’m not very sexually experienced, but i can make him feel good and he himself says that he is not unsatified.
relax, he already said that you he’s satisfied with the way it plays out, some men (me included) like to give more than we receive
what kinks does he like? maybe spice it up a bit by introducing something you both find sexy, new Lingerie ect is always nice
He may have accidentally trained himself to only accept a specific touch and intensity in order to ejaculate. Similar to death grip but less intense.
Watch how he masturbates and try to mimic it. Alternatively, after you’ve had your fun, have him finish himself off but provide assistance. IE, he faps but you fondle him and occasionally take over. Let him finish himself if needed but be sure to be touching him as he does. The idea is to integrate yourself into what his body considers good and your ‘interruptions’ may broaden that and make his ejaculating easier.
Does he take issue with it? If not I wouldn’t worry about it. I know when you’re younger getting each other off seems to be the main focus. Just enjoy sex and don’t make it goal oriented especially if you are both happy with your love life.
He probably watches porn
Death grip. Look it up. He needs to abstain from masturbation for awhile and use lubrication to masturbate when he’s recovered.
my advice is enjoy the hell out of this a guy that can go for a couple hours without cumming is good news
It more than likely is a symptom of wanking it too much to porn. 1) you become too used to how you touch yourself and the sensation that when you do have sex, you can’t get off and 2) you get overly used to the visual stimulation of porn that the real thing cant do it for you. I highly suggest him taking a few weeks off from doing both and then trying it again with you. I feel like you will both have a much better time.
I think you’ve gotten some good feedback here, but I want to add something. A lot of men grew up masturbating a certain way to get off real quick. Either because they weren’t alone in the house, had to be quiet, etc. So I think he’s in his own “mode” and not quite used to someone else trying to get him off. Has this been an issue for his past lovers?
Pegg him maybe ^^
>he doesn’t masturbate often
I feel like everyone in a mad rush to claim death grip syndrome or porn addiction didn’t slow down to read this part.
Classic /r/sex, if it’s a male who either comes too quickly or not quickly enough it’s because he’s a porn addict with death grip! If it’s a woman who takes too long to finish its probably the guy’s fault!
It’s a possibility of course, but it’s far from the only possible reason
If you want you can try to make me cum … just saying 😝
Everyone is different but what can make me finish extra fast is dirty talk, moans/good pain sounds, her telling me how much she wants me to cum.
Sounds like its all in his head not yours. Let him edge himself and when he gets close you take over manually or orally. keep at it until he associated finishing with you and your touch. good luck.
Some of the other advice is pretty good and you should listen to it.
I personally think that, if you got him to not masturbate at all for a week or two (but still remain horny the normal amount for him), that he would revert to being more sensitive.
If he’s into it, I think you could turn him on a bunch but not let him masturbate or finish. Then I imagine after the week or two, he’d cum from the faintest touch!
First, your worth is not related to making him cum. Second, you can still be involved even if you’re not giving him direct stimulation. You can talk dirty to each other or tease each other or both masturbate while gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes.