In other words, do you prefer a more “dominant” or “submissive” role in the relationship? Why or why not? Including age and gender would be helpful, but not necessary.

9 comments

  1. We are equal partners. We make decisions jointly whenever possible and trust each other to make good decisions if either of us needs to make a decision when the other isn’t available. That’s how we both prefer it. I’m a 45 year old woman.

  2. We prefer equals, unless someone is in need of the other for support more at that moment. We’re 35 and 28

    Edit added ages

  3. We’re equal partners and make most decisions together. I leave some things for him to decide and he leaves some for me, but we still always listen to each other’s input. We’re 33 and 38.

  4. My husband and I (woman) are 34. In the past, I would say I took a more dominant role but in the last 5 or so years things are more equal. I prefer the equality. It feels nice being able to step back and let him take care of some things. Big decisions we always make together and smaller things are taken care of spontaneously by both of us individually.

  6. We are pretty independent of each other. Our finances our separate so he doesn’t have any say in how I spend my money and I make more than him so I’ve had more input in a lot of our bigger purchases like the house and cars. On things he cares about there is no wiggle room and there isn’t much I can do to change his mind. Overall, it would be a lot easier for him to convince me to do something then it would be for me to convince him to do something.

  7. We have our areas of expertise but we come to decisions jointly. I inform the majority of decisions, but that’s because I have a lot more experience. 46F and 41M

  8. My husband and I are equal partners (late 30’s F and early 40’s M). I was previously married to a man who wanted the dominant role and it was awful to feel that my opinion should have less weight in matters that would affect both of our lives. For me it’s a question of respect. I’m fully capable of making decisions for and supporting myself. I didn’t get married to be forced to take a backseat in my own life.

  9. My partner is in control of many things because they’re my dominant, something we continually negotiate and talk about to make sure it’s running smoothly and 100% consensual for both of us. But fundamentally, we are equal partners.

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