I’ve been reading a lot about how sex can bond you and release oxytocin but so many people can have casual partners/a roster and feel absolutely nothing towards them.
I’m currently experiencing casual dating as I don’t want a relationship and I love sex. I dont have emotional feelings for this person as in I want to be with them but I do catch myself thinking about them sometimes and even wanting to have some bond as a friend. He is very emotionally unavailable and I’m pretty sure has a roster, which doesn’t bother me. I guess I’m just curious how some people really can just meet up for sex, do it and feel no emotional connection to the person at all! Not even as a friend. No judgement, I wish I could be more like that while I’m single. It would make the sex a lot more like an appointment I need to attend to once and a while which would suit my lifestyle.
2 comments
I’ve seen this oxytocin thing crop up a lot recently. And I know its seen as a “bonding” hormone because of the huge involvement it has in labour and breastfeeding but…it doesn’t “bond” you to people you have sex with.
Hugging, kissing, cuddling and sex will release oxytocin, leading to warm, fuzzy feelings of contentment and peace. But yoga, massage and listening to music you love have also been shown to lead to oxytocin release.
Theres doesn’t have to be “bonding”. Sometimes sex is nice because it feels nice, just like getting a massage.
I feel more connected to and appreciated by my wife when we share enthusiastic sexual intimacy. I feel less connected to and not appreciated by my wife if we go a long period of time without. Long period is measured in weeks; I.e I’m not too happy at all if it’s been 4 weeks and nobody had the flu or a UTI. Recently went thru a twice in 120 days for no particular reason and I was starting to come a little unglued.