i’m a male (20) last year i have moved into vancouver bc from alberta and few months before i moved i was dating my girlfriend. long story short we argue a lot and we don’t see each other so often. maybe once every 2-3 months and it’s definitely not enough for us. We’re currently in long distance for about 15 months.
What the problem is that i’ve started to notice that i’m loosing feelings for her not that i’ve fully lost them for her my love just became diffrent, my eyes do wonder sometimes and i also do feel very guilty about it. i no longer feel like i’m enjoying the relationship i no longer feel happy spending a lot of money to come see her, i no longer have this firey feeling and these nervous butterflies that u get in your stomach when i see her, just in general the relationship don’t feel right to me anymore or just as fun and passionate as it was at the beginning .
Many times i end up missing her during the day and i just know that right now i cannot see her, i feel like i always get to see her when i can, not when i need to or just want to. i’ve told her this she understands me but she believes that we can get thru anything and be together in few years. But i’ve never told her that my feelings are different for her because i’m really scared of hurting her because i still do love her and care about her a lot and i know that she loves me so much and the fact that i know that my love for her isn’t as strong as hers is for me is just killing me inside and i don’t know what to do. Because at one point i don’t really want a relationship like this, im not really enjoying it and im not happy but on the other point i feel like if i break up with her i will be lonely because she’s always here for me and supports me with everything.
TLDR : i’m in a 2 year relationship with my gf and 1 year already in long distance, her love remained same mine changed, how do i tell her ?
3 comments
TLDR: too long didn’t read
It’s for those people that want a short paragraph of what this posts about 🤣
At your age and the length of the relationship I would just say break up.
Nobody is in the wrong here, you dont have kids or extensive history together. LDR is hard. You’re both too young to limit yourselves and deal with that shit.
End it now before one of you starts seeing someone else and the other gets hurt.
I would advise against it at your age… you don’t know where you’ll both be in 6 months, let alone in 6 years…
Long distance is hard. There has to be the strongest commitment on both sides, and there needs to be be a light at the end of the tunnel that it will end. Like you know you’ll be gone for a 9 month deployment and after your service you’ll be back. Or you know that there’s only 6 months of a study abroad for her and then she’ll be back. Or one of you takes a great job and the other finishes their lease/school/whatever and they are 100% moving in a few months.
It’s so goddamn hard for even the strongest couples. You’re so young, you really have to ask yourself is it worth it to put both of you through this struggle that might eventually mean one or both of you gets hurt?
It’s hard. There’s not any easy answer except having that conversation with her and doing the difficult task of ending it, with no one at fault, but because relationships need physical proximity to work. Good luck kid. I hope it works out for you both.