TLDR; my best friend broke up with me & blocked my number last week after we both blacked out and fought. They blamed me for everything that went wrong in the relationship and I’m struggling with grief.
Hi y’all, I’ll try to keep an extremely long story short.
For some background, in June of this year my best friend and I casually dated for approximately one month. They ended things with me because they wanted to work on themselves before being in a relationship. I chose to accept & move forward with our friendship as it was more important than our short romantic stint.
Flash forward to the beginning of September and they unceremoniously tell me they’re “talking” to a guy and are looking forward to seeing him more. Admittedly this hurt, but I chose to get over it because again- the friendship was more important. I set a boundary that these conversations happen in a more emotionally sensitive way in the future and we moved forward. About a week after that we had a longer conversation about it and I was able to tell them I was hurt by the situation / felt lied to as I didn’t think a month was a very long time to work on yourself. The conversation ended well and we moved forward.
From that point until last Saturday everything was fine. I didn’t mention the dude or get on them about any of that. During this time, our physical touch turned more intimate (long hugs, neck kisses). I was confused but again, chose to get over it because I honestly didn’t have the energy to think about it.
Last Saturday we are out having a good time when they asked me to kiss them. I kissed them and then we began discussing the dude. I made a joke about this guy with a lame name I had matched with on tinder who seemed to be their type and unfortunately I was correct in who it was. We lightly argued and then ended the conversation. Directly after arguing, they asked me if I wanted to have a uh diagonal party with 3 people. We had been drinking so I agreed.
We never made it to said event as we both blacked out after that.. according to their housemates we got in a verbal / physical altercation, causing best friend to have a mental health crisis.
Best friend asked for space and after the space ended they sent me an extremly long text detailing why this incident was the result of me crossing their boundaries and that they did not want me in their life anymore. Then they blocked my number.
I am really struggling with the grief of losing them and still so confused as to why it was all my fault. I take accountability for crossing boundaries in the past (when we were dating, relationships are hard for me) and we had already worked through that. I also just don’t understand why they had been so physically affectionate, why they wanted to kiss/sleep with me, and why they didn’t just shut down the conversation after our kiss if they didn’t want to discuss it.