I (23F) went out with my friend (28M), had a few too many drinks and things ended with us having some bad sex. In short, there was just no sexual chemistry. Now, he’s avoiding me and even our whole friend group. I’ve honestly let it go but I did enjoy our friendship and hope we can go back to normal since I’ve already moved on. What should I do?
TL;DR
\-I (23F) had “bad/awkward” sex with my friend (28M) after a night of drinking and now he’s avoiding me. I’ve moved on but want to salvage our friendship. What should I do?
16 comments
Reach out and just break the ice saying as much directly to him. Then just give him the time and space to see if he can get over whatever it is causing him to pull back from you as a friend.
Give him space. See if things change in time. He clearly needs space from you right now, so leave him be.
Nothing. Don’t have sex with your friends if you don’t want the friendship to change.
He knows what it feels like now.
You need to give him the space he very clearly needs.
Don’t think you should do anything.
Chances are he is feeling the same. You did just break a friendship by going physical. Maybe he doesn’t know how to deal with it and wishes it was the same as before that night.
Maybe he is avoiding the group in fear people can easily read him and discover that something changed between you two.
Lead the way into a conversation and open up to him invite him to open up to you. You did become physically intimate so should not be a problem to form words with each other and figure out whats next.
hopefully it’s not a masculinity thing! hope he comes around with some time and conversation, good luck!
What made the sex so bad?
If he wants to dip, let him. I was in his position and ended up just soft ghosting the whole group because it was so damn awkward. His roommate walked in and told everyone, and I was the butt of jokes for almost 2 years and nobody would ever just let me forget it.
Yall had bad friend sex. Leave it alone. If you had truly moved on, this post wouldn’t be here. He’s fine. You’re fine. If you don’t have a friendship because of one night of bad sex, was it a friendship to begin with?
Maybe he is ashamed? Maybe he thinks you are making fun of him. (Intrusive thoughts)
Have you tried reaching out and talked about that night? Maybe give him an out so he doesnt blame himself
Hey maybe just say something like. Hey I noticed you have not been hanging out with our friends anymore. I hope that is not of what happened between us. It was a bit awkward but I still like you as a friend. Perhaps we will see each other at another event soon. It does not have to be weird between us we are both adults.
He’s embarrassed and feels like a failure
He is embarrassed, give him a minute, all will be fine…
IMO, dude proly always wanted to bang you and this was his first chance. He got what he always wanted, but it was terrible and now he’s making his next move 🤷🏿