I have a cousin (younger than me) who keeps asking me questions about my private life (relationships with my family, friends, love life). Usually I’m happy to respond whenever people asks me about them but I tend to be cautious around my cousin considering how she is as a person. (Judgmental, Looks down on me)
I’m meeting her in recent times and I’m mainly scared of my cousin asking me about my younger sister. I’m not sure why she’s so obsessed and worried about my sister in the first place. She’ll ask me if she has any friends, how’s she’s doing in school, why she’s this and that, all because my sister is quiet and shy. (My sis is doing fine btw)
It gets frustrating sometimes because my cousin would get to a point of questioning the responses I gave to her. Perhaps she couldn’t believe that my younger sister was living a nice life despite her shy personality.
What’s the best way to face this type of people?
12 comments
Literally say “Things are great! Not much else to say.”
If they try to question that, simply repeat “I’m sorry that you feel that way.” Don’t entertain her questions. You’re fully in your rights to say “things are great! Not much else to say” over and over and over. If she starts guilting you or anything, just say “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”
You need to separate your emotional state from how your cousin feels about all this – because you know that it’s just going to be judgemental and toxic. So stop entertaining.
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
I’d ask her why she’s so interested. Honestly, I’m getting a jealous vibe from her, from what you’ve posted. I’m going to hazard a guess, that she’s quite young?
Tell her to fuck off
Next time you don’t want to answer, just say “why, are you writing a book?”
“I’m not at liberty to say.”
Hold up a verbal mirror and force them to reflect.
Point out that she’s being a nosey gossip, and probably shouldn’t be trying to get information about people. Only boring people with nothing to do spend time speculating about other people’s lives.
Some people are incapable of self reflection especially younger folks, and won’t realize what they’re doing wrong until they’re called out or have what they’re doing spelled out for them. Nobody benefits from pretending it’s not making you uncomfortable. You do not need to accommodate this behavior.
Burn their house to the ground
“Any question you ask, you yourself must answer.”
No, i am not answering.
That is the answer you give when they want you to answer.
You have to use the method called “grey rocking” when it comes to those types of people. Basically have the most neutral boring answers to any question they have. Do not be intimidated by them.
Don’t hang out with her. It sounds like you don’t like your cousin anyways.