What is your opinion on women being the breadwinner?

37 comments

  4. I do not care about this at all in any way. Which person makes more money in a relationship is entirely irrelevant to me and none of my business about other people. People’s genders don’t decide whether or not they can be a so-called breadwinner in their relationship. Women in relationships with women also still have one person who generally makes more money, so that would be pretty normal. In a relationship that’s mixed gender, I don’t see why it should matter which gender happens to be making more money.

  6. Guy here

    She makes ALOT more than I do. It’s awesome. I know she’s not in the relationship because of what I can financially provide for her. She’s truly in it for me and who I am.

  8. Why is an opinion needed? Who cares who makes more? It should be a non issue

  12. I hate being in that position – first experience was living with a bf, working full time, full time college student, he refused to get a job that was “beneath” him, oh and while he was fesuing to work or even apply to jobs he was sexting other women. So it has left a very bad taste in my mouth.

    “You are a strong girl, you work hard. You should never put yourself in a position where you have to rely on a man, and you should NEVER be with a man who cannot or will not do at least as much as you.”

    But hey, I’m sure some women love it. Just not for me.

  13. Nice. As long as both partners pull their weight on “winning the bread” and maintaining the household, it’s all golden.

    (the problem is, in the households I know of where the wife is the main breadwinner, she often still tackles the majority of the household chores and childcare).

  14. Takes two to pay the bills, who cares who makes more, collective money is collective money.

  16. I’ve always made more than my husband. He doesn’t care, why should I? or you? or anyone else?

  17. It’s pretty normal in my social/work circle. I still see too many women taking the lion’s share of domestic labor on top of their paid jobs, IMO.

  18. Did we teleport back to the 50s? How is this something we need an opinion on?

  19. We don’t have that but people used to think we do (him having been a freelance artist). I didn’t mind when he earned less than me, but he had a hard time with people saying preety mean things to his face like “at least your wife is making some money” and similar.

  20. Considering the amount of same sex couples in the world…I don’t understand how that question is even a thing. But, okay. I’ll bite. Contribute to your household. In a way that you and your partner agree with. Reproductive organs be damned.

  21. Seems silly to have a strong opinion on how other households divide their finances. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be the sole breadwinner, and I wouldn’t want my husband to be, either. Just having one person working means your finances are fully on that person’s shoulders and might keep them in a shitty job they’d otherwise quit, or be an issue if they can no longer work for medical reasons, etc. That’s just me, though.

  22. I’m in my early 20s and lucked into an unusually high salary right out of university, plus a few fun side ventures.

    It’s pretty rare I meet guys that makes close to what I make.

    I don’t mind at all! Just don’t expect me to be your Sugar Mommy.

  23. I come from a household in which my mom was the main breadwinner (she mad significantly more money than my dad). I don’t think there is anything wrong as long as both parts of the couple are fine with it.

    I am aware in that this also had an effect in my upbringing in the sense that I don’t expect man to provide for me (I am a female and if it happens that’s great, but it doesn’t put any weight in my choice of partner, I can provide for myself) and now that I am a grown up I don’t have major “women are powerless and must clean the home, men bring the money and are the boss of the relationship” mindset because I never saw my mom in a position in which she had no power over herself or my dad telling her what to do.

  24. There’s a lot of factors.. is she the breadwinner bc she works her ass off overtime or has multiple jobs and does he at least work full time? The salary/occupation doesn’t mean anything as long as the person making less is still working full time and not slacking. That would grow resentment

  25. Well, my wife and I feel it’s important that at least one of us ladies win us some bread.

    In all seriousness, we both work. Why shouldn’t women work/be the breadwinner?

  26. It’s normal.

    Unfortunately it’s also normal for women to work full time *and* do the vast majority of housework and childcare *and* take care of their male partner’s basic needs.

  27. More power to you as long as your partner isn’t being a mooch. Same goes for men being the breadwinner.

  28. As a woman I generally give more of myself in a relationship than any man I have ever been with: I invest more emotionally, sexually, make more compromises and do more around the house. I also spend a great deal of my hard earned money buying lingerie and cosmetics, which are very expensive, just so I can remain desirable for him. Also my body is ruined from pregnancies while he still gets to go to the gym and have beer. That’s why I would rather be with a man who makes more money, being a good provider is definitely an attractive quality in a man. I’m old fashioned that way.

  29. I wish men were as ok with it as I am.

    Before I get people jumping in the comments, let me just say that *every single guy I’ve ever met or gone on a date with* has said the same lines about, “Oh, I would love to be a househusband! That’s living the dream!” “Being a stay at home dad would be amazing. I’d love that!” And in that moment, I think they truly mean that.

    BUT I don’t think men are actually societally prepped for that the way women are. Every single guy who has ever said that to me has gradually realized that they don’t actually like the reality of it when I offer them that exact option.

    Truth is, men are more societally indoctrinated into the idea that their job and income determine their worth and masculinity. So as much as they claim they’d love to give it up, IME it’s always been much harder on the ego, their identity, and their sense of security in the relationship than they originally thought and it leads to weird resentment.

    I’d love to find a man who’s happy to be a stay at home spouse for me. However, the last thing I want is to marry someone who claims go be ok with it, then ends up feeling emasculated and resentful instead, and does something like be an ass or cheats on me to take back power or something. And IME, the latter seems to be way more common than I think even men are aware of.

  30. It feels like a trap.

    Like I’d be doing all the work while they guy was able to fool around all day.

    I was in a relationship like that.

    Now I have a rule that I will only date men at the same salary as me or higher. They also have to be able to out work me or at least keep up. Also, they need to own their car and have a decent place to live.

  31. I think we should stop using the term “breadwinner” in general and who cares if the man or woman makes more just pay your bills however you can

  32. It just depends on the couple & want the woman herself wants. I don’t have a universal opinion on it. Some women enjoy it, some don’t. To each their own.

    The term “breadwinner” actually means that the person is the *main* provider, or only provider. For me personally, this would not make me comfortable. I’d be far more comfortable in a household where we’re both equally contributing or around the same, give or take a few thousand. Admittedly, I’d be more comfortable if I had a good salary but my spouse was making *great* money than if I made almost no money or if they made almost no money, or I was earning 2x their salary. Just being honest. From my observations from the most successful relationships around me, it’s almost never the woman being the “breadwinner”. It puts a lot of stress on you, and if you’re also expected to do most of the household work and childcare, it makes you resentful. I can’t see how that would be successful unless you want a spouse who stays home and does that stuff while you earn money, then that’s a different scenario.

    Though for me, I would rather a more egalitarian relationship. And in any relationship I’ve truly invested in, we were equals on finances or he had a desire to earn a good amount.

  35. I could just be a “snowflake” but this question has serious sexism vibes. No one would ask this in the men’s sub

  36. I don’t have a problem with it but it’s just not for me.

    Most women, regardless of how much they contribute financially to the house, do the majority of the housework and childcare in their family.

    I’d also like to have kids one day, and if I’m the breadwinner, I won’t be able to take a very long maternity leave or switch to part-time work in order to focus on raising my kiddos because that would be a major financial hit for the family.

    Tbh I worked really hard for my career and I don’t want to sacrifice on quality of life by “marrying down”. It’s really important to me that my partner makes as much or more than I do so that we can maintain a certain standard of living.

  37. According to a recent study, women who are breadwinners still disproportionately do most of the childcare and housework

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/603696/women-who-bring-home-the-bacon-are-still-the-ones-frying-it-up-in-a-pan%3famp

    Women on average do 1.7 times the amount of household chores as their partners

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thestar.com/amp/life/2015/05/12/as-far-as-home-chores-go-men-still-need-a-lot-of-catching-up-to-do.html

    It appears that statistically, as a women, you will most likely have the burden of childbearing and household upkeep fall on you. Also being the breadwinner will not change this, but in fact will make it worse. Women should be aware of this and do as they will.

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