I’m 21 year old woman im dating my boyfriend 28M for almost 4 months, he is my first boyfriend so now dad found out i was dating someone he seems disappointed that im not dating a rich man, he told me i am just gonna waste my time and beauty on my boyfriend, he said that only 18 to 25 is the only pretty years of a woman and after that its hard to find a quality rich man. I am so speechless when he said that to me, and to be honest since i was young he was the reason why i have low self esteem because it seems like i can’t never please him.
I’m so disappointed and i cant believe what he says so what i think hes trying to say is 18 to 25 year old is only the pretty years and what makes a woman valuable. I think he is so upset and disappointed of me because he can’t get anything from me and because i didnt follow what he want me to do, it seems like he wants me to obey everything he says so he can use me for money or whatever.
I dont know how to deal with my father anymore. Any advice? I have a long patience but im starting to get so upset about him especially i feel like he is dictating me on what i need to do to my future and im really disappointed on what he says about woman coz i feel like im starting to believe him that no men will be attracted to me when i past 25 years old and i just feel so hurt because i feel like im only valuable to him if i will obey what he says or do something for him.
TL;DR
I just need to let this out and sorry for my writing and english, sorry if i rant here as well. Thanks for listening.
4 comments
Why are you still trying to make him happy? It will NEVER happen, and the sooner you accept that and move on and cut him out of your life, the better you’ll feel.
You need to cut your father off. If you live there with him, move out. Do whatever you can to distance yourself from your father. Don’t let him remain a part of your life. If he is supporting you financially or you live with him, then you need to do whatever you can to cut that out of your life and become self sufficient. If your already on your own and you make your own money then completely cut him out of your life like the cancerous tumor he is. That’s my best advice for dealing with a narcissistic person…. narcissists cannot change, it’s not possible. He will always be this way and he will always lord over you with his false sense of superiority. Run far….far away. Forget he exists.
This is silly. Rich men like smart women. Go focus on your education. And make sure your boyfriend is treating you well since your father hasn’t set a good example of how a really good man treats and thinks of women.
Narcissist or Sociopath. The manipulative and controlling nature of what you describe could lean towards the latter.
Putting you down for him to devalue you so you stick around due to lack of confidence to make it out on your own could be one of he controlling mechanisms he uses on you.
I have seen 40yo women that you could not tell they were older than 25. so look after yourself dont let him emotionaly eat you and stress you and just move on.
Find a small apartment and move out. The sooner the better once you are free from his emotional leash you will probably realise how much you are really worth and will have a better life with or without rich husband. Money isnt everything. Yes it helps but rich people have problems too and they cost alot more so its all relative in the end.
Find a man that values you and work together to make a life and build your own little empire of dirt.