tl;dr
i’m a guy in hs and i like my friend. A lot of my friends joke that I am gay because I act fruity and all, but I deny it and say that Im straight. I’ve been doing that for the last 7 years. In reality I think Im bisexual and I don’t want to come out to my friends as Im in the middle of my hs life and it will be awkward to come out. I like this guy who’s in the same grade as me and he’s one of my bsfs.
I’ve learned to love his attention and company and I think I like him. I think I’ve had feelings for him for the past 7 months but I can’t tell anyone as no one knows Im bi. I also don’t know if this guy likes guys as I know he likes women and he claims he’s straight. He also sometimes gives off fruity vibes and do fruity stereotypes actives(they’re a musical kid, theater kid, sing etc) so I don’t know if they’re closeted like me or actually straight. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with him.
He’s liked my childhood best friend for the past 7 months and I’ve been trying to help him set them up. (i know my childhood bsf won’t date anyone and even if she likes him she won’t say yes). My heart hurts everytime but I still help him. What should I do?
2 comments
This is a tough one. I’m also bi and have not come out about it. I’m 56yrs old and wish I had come out long ago. I’ve been attracted to a couple of friends and was given the open opportunity on several occasions but never did because I felt like it might have been a trap or something stupid like that. I look back now and want to choke myself for not taking advantage of the moment. Think things through carefully bro, coming out can be scary as hell it just depends on your surrounding personalities. When I see signs of gayism im usually spot on so go with what you feel the outcome might be just tread the waters lightly and be confident. If he jokingly makes a pass at you he’s probably serious in his mind but he’s just as scared as you if he is. Good luck bro. I’d love to hear the outcome of possible!
I don’t know much of anything about your type of situation, and high school is long in my past, but seeing as this post is over an hour old and has no responses, I’ll give it a try.
To me it seems like you have 3 general options.
1) Stay totally in the closet and never do anything about your feelings. In this case your close friendship will stay approximately how it’s been, and you continue feeling the emotional unrest you’ve been feeling.
2) Express your feelings to him while still trying to stay in the closet. This one has a lot of ways to go wrong and only a couple of ways to go okay. If you try to make suggestive hints to him while in the metaphorical shadows, this could make him feel creeped out if he isn’t into it. And in either case he might wind up letting your secret out.
3) Publicly come out to the whole world, and then express your feelings to him. This has the obvious significant difficulties of coming out, but afterward you can live your life freely. If you’re out of the closest and make some suggestive hints to him then he still might be weirded out, but i would guess that there’s a better chance of the friendship being maintained if you’re not trying to do it in a closeted situation.
I don’t know if any of that helps, but I figure it’s better than no responses at all. Good luck!