Last night me (19M) and my gf (20F) ended our relationship. We both saw where we were wrong in the relationship so it wasn’t a bad breakup but I’ve been heartbroken ever since. I poured so much info this girl, she was my rock she made me feel so happy and made all of my problems seem so small. When I moved out on my own and couldn’t fall asleep, she would sleep with me on the phone so that I could sleep. I let my insecurities become a problem and she had to let me go because of how it was affecting her happiness. I’m proud she made the decision that was best for her but it hurts so much for me. We talk for about an hour a little bit ago for closure and I knew it was our final goodbye so I cried my eyes out. I’ve been crying all day and I just don’t know where to go from here. I just want to know what steps I need to take to help me feel better and to get over her so that I can feel happy again.
TL;DR first ever breakup and i’m heartbroken and lost. What can I do to feel better?
2 comments
OK… this part sucks, and depending entirely on your emotional state, it can take quite some time to get past.
You will likely hear that the best thing to do is find someone else. That can help, but you are likely to run into the little dilemma that you probably aren’t particularly emotionally attractive right now AND, if you do manage to find someone who’ll take you, you’ll be using them and probably hurting a stranger who might actually like you. So, for your first, I’d recommend NOT going there.
Try this horrible awful trick and be aware that it doesn’t help that much. When you find yourself obsessing (thinking about her, talking to her in your head, fantasizing about getting saving her dog and winning her back, etc…) try thinking instead of all the things that did NOT work in the relationship. Make a list. Write it down. Go back to it whenever you get stuck in your mental rut.
Don’t use that list of incompatibilities as a basis to be mean to her later. Just use it to work past the emptiness in your soul.
Good luck, take care, and NO drunk texting or dialing!
It’s just going to take time. Keep yourself busy. Go out with friends. Meet new people (not necessarily to date). Anything to keep your mind off of her. It will pass, I promise.