I (19f) recently entered a relationship with my boyfriend (23m) after being really close friends for about 3 months. Everything was so amazing when we were friends and he’s so amazing now that we are together as well but I’m terrified of messing everything up.
I have some hefty mental health baggage, I have been repeatedly traumatised since I was a child and am still living at home where it continues to be a bad environment for me. I was diagnosed with cptsd (complex post traumatic stress disorder) about a year ago and I’ve been doing okay… so my therapist decided I didn’t need therapy anymore. But now that it’s been a few months I feel I should go back.
I had an emotional flashback the other day in front of my boyfriend and I feel so bad that he had to deal with that. I was in there for nearly an hour and I only stopped because I literally passed out from exhaustion. I was mumbling and moving erratically, I would have looked insane. He didn’t really understand what hat was going on but I had a conversation with him later and he’s okay, he said he doesn’t want to leave me.
I tried to explain to him that I can’t start healing anymore that I have until I can afford to move out because of my parents and he still wants to stick around. I truly adore this man but I just feel like I’m a burden on him.
I’ve practically been couch surfing between his house (he still lives with his parents) and a friends house because I just don’t want to go home but again I don’t want to bother him with constantly seeing him everyday :/
I really don’t know what to do, I guess if this was your partner what would you be doing/ feeling? He says I’m not a burden and he enjoys having me around but I just doubt myself so much…