me and my ex broke up in the summer of this year, so a good decent 4-5 months ago now, whilst still not fully over him
(we talk every day as friends and dropping him as a friend isn’t a option for me right now because i literally do not have anybody else in my life)
I’m ready to move on, ever since the break up I’ve been working on myself, working on my mental health, i’ve had a really good career change, I was selfish and took myself on multiple concerts / selfcare trips, etc.
But I’m a relationship person, I’m a very introverted person and i’ve not had friends in years not that I care because well, i don’t care about friends. I’d much rather live my life with that one person who i can trust love and spend my life with than have friends which selfishly means i have to spend time texting them most days or hang out with them, when all I want to do is be at home 99% of the time!
Anyways, moving on. I’ve been on dating apps etc even went on apps, but I lose interest in guys so quickly which is crazy to me because I am very much in the market of dating, just i suck at the first stages. I know the right guy will come eventually, but when? I’m slowly getting more and more lonely and honestly would just like to love someone again
5 comments
The reason that you still didn’t move on from your ex is because you’re still talking to him on daily basis.
You also won’t completely move on until you cut off that contact.
And also, you prolly shouldn’t be getting involved with someone new while still not being over your ex with whom you talk daily.
Prolly not what you wanna hear…sorry…but i think it’s the truth.🤷‍♀️
If you’re not ready to cut off your ex completely you’re not ready to move on.
I’m the same way, I got incredibly lucky after spending months on dating apps. I started talking to this chick and we were bitching about how horrible dating is. I asked if we could just skip dating and go straight into a relationship and she actually agreed lol. So over the next couple days we texted eachother the worst shit about ourselves to see if anything was a deal breaker. I’m talking 100% honesty here. We decided we could deal with each other’s shit so we met at her house, hooked up, I spent the night. 3 months later I might ved in and we’ve been together 3 years.
You should just ask some if you can skip dating lol I bet it would work.
When you say “I lose interest in guys so quickly” what do you mean? Is it something they’re doing, something you’re doing? What I get from your text is that you’re not over your ex, and you need more time to be ok with yourself before you start dating again. This is all quite normal, so taking a break from dating to sort yourself out is advised. I know you said you don’t want to cut off your ex completely, but by not doing so you’re still attached to him and it can hinder you from completely moving on. You don’t have to text friends all the time and can find other like minded people or people who accept that you have a certain level of introversion for friends. You have options besides relying on your ex for your friendship needs.
It’s fine to stay friends with an ex when you both have clear boundaries, aren’t overly reliant on each other, and both accept your dating relationship is over.
You have to ask yourself why you can’t let him go as a romantic partner. The “friendship” seems like an excuse for close contact, not a real platonic connection, and you have to get to the root of the reason. You say you’re ready to move on, but you’re not giving yourself the healthy distance you need to get there and actually be a genuine friend to each other. By the time you do the healing work and focus more on yourself, you may find he isn’t a suitable friend… not for any awful reason, but just because you’ve finally let go of your romantic attachment. Might not happen, but it could. That’s why you need to back off and embrace change if it comes vs. stagnating and clinging to the past.
Plus, talking every single day even as friends is a sure fire way for people to eventually burn out. You should give each other the space you need to fully extend your social networks! The fact that he’s the only person in your life is also putting a lot of pressure on him, whether it’s obvious or not. People do think about these things.