To preface I have known my bf for about 17 years, we’ve been dating for a year and a half and living together for about one so he’s known me at all sizes of my adult life.
At the start of covid I was at my peak weight of 217lb and over the last year and a half I have made great efforts and have gotten myself down to 175lb, which is about 20 pounds heavier than when we were in our early 20s.
My bf has had feelings for me for most of the time he’s known me and has never expressed an issue with my body. I don’t have the highest self esteem but he calls me beautiful every day.
My issue now is that several times during our relationship (when the topic of my attractiveness comes up) he has specified that I have a beautiful face and makes no comments about my body, and tbh it hurts. It makes me feel like I still have a long way to go before I deserve to be called beautiful in a general sense, and it makes me worry he still views me as being fat. I know he probably doesn’t have these intentions when he says it but it eats away at me. Should I be reading this much into what he’s saying or just take the compliment for what it is?
tl;dr I lost a bunch of weight but I’m worried my bf is only attracted to my face until I lose more
3 comments
He finds you attractive. Leave the rest of it alone.
lol this dude can’t win can he? he’s telling you that he finds you beautiful and that should be enough.. don’t push this dude to tell you about how he feels about other parts that he’s not mentioning.. he probably never dated you in the first place for being the body type he prefers, but most people we date, aren’t.. there is more to people than their body type.. is it nice if they find you drop dead gorgous like some movie star, yah sure.. but that can be unhealthy too. it’s more sexy when you want to do life together, regardless of how you look, because eventually we’re all old and gross.. it’s those who care about YOU that matter, not your body type.. my wife is in the 140s and she thinks she’s fat too.. so whatever.. I tell her she’s beautiful to me, and if she wants to lose some weight, then so be it, it won’t love her more or less if she does or doesn’t.. because it’s not the weight that matters. but I won’t lie to her and say “if find your body so sexy” because i don’t.. and women need to be VERY careful about getting a man’s honesty, when they ask for it.. then think that he hates them or something radical, when really it’s just a personal opinion that has nothing to do with how much we love them.
I can see why you feel this way.
Have asked him to just, you know, compliment your body more? That it would make you happy?
It might be that he feels weird pointing it out.