Today I went to have lunch to a sandwich place and I saw this girl eating by herself. Since I arrived to the place I was thinking if I should go talk to her because I really found her attractive. At this point it’s been so long since I’ve been with a girl, and I’ve been feeling so alone, but I’m super shy.
I sat in a table not so close to her but still we were visible to each other. It took me so long to get enough confidence that she left. I felt so discouraged because I thought I lost a real good chance.
I was so disappointed with myself and I thought I should have a blunt, so I went to buy some paper to a near mall and when I was on my way out I saw the girl walking in front of me. I didn’t even though about it so I went this time and talked to her. At first it was a bit awkward but nothing out of the norm when meeting a stranger. I told her I saw her eating at the restaurant and she recognized me. We spent like 30 mins just walking around talking about ourselves. I thought we had a good conversation but at some point she mentioned “her boyfriend”. I just ignored it to not make an awkward moment. The whole time I really felt she was being nice and very talkative, but I didn’t feel she was interested the same way I was. I also brought up that I smoke just as a way to show her the paper I bought, which really was me saying “I came here to buy this, I was not following you”.
At the end I just thought “fuck it I’m here already” and asked her number and I thought she would say something about having a boyfriend but she wrote her phone without hesitation.
When I was back home I dropped her a single message just saying “Hi it’s….” and a shitty silly joke I came up with while we were at the mall. This happened this morning and it is the end of the day so I’m sure she’s not interested and doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t even know if she gave me a real number.
Like common, why did you even give me your phone if you’re not going to talk to me? I was already feeling down and you just gave me hope just to shatter it away again. If you have a boyfriend I understand but why do you lie to me? I was really doing an effort there going out of my comfort zone talking to a stranger, and she just doesn’t care about being honest with me.
I don’t know if I’m angry or sad, and I don’t have a ton of experience meeting new people, so I just don’t know if this is a normal thing or if I’m being dramatic. Maybe she thought I followed her and I’m a creep? I just don’t know man, am I the problem? What can I do better?
2 comments
I think up until
>Like common, why did you even give me your phone if you’re not going to talk to me?
I was thinking “pretty good effort lad”, however, I’m going to correct your thinking a bit here, and give you a bit of tough love.
She owed you **nothing**. She didn’t have to give you her number. Maybe she was scared you were following her and gave you a fake number so you would leave her alone. Maybe she’s just had a busy day and hasn’t felt like replying. Maybe she got home and changed her mind. Maybe she just wanted to fuck with you.
The point is, there are a lot of possibilities, but it doesn’t change reality, which is that (as of writing this): **she hasn’t texted you back and it does not matter why, because she is a stranger.**
It can be disappointing, yes, but take this as a learning opportunity! Be proud you picked up the courage to ask. Who cares if she doesn’t ever text you – that’s her business, not yours. Focus on you: pick yourself up, get yourself out there, and try again. You got this man, don’t let this defeat you, but don’t let yourself slip into unhelpful and toxic thinking habits such as
>she just doesn’t care about being honest with me.
Because she owed you nothing. You were strangers.
I hope this helps, and I do sincerely wish you luck.
She mentioned she had a boyfriend, but you brushed it off and still asked for her number.
Women have to be absolutely guarded when it comes to shit like this because she doesn’t know whether you’d go batshit crazy for her not giving you her number. What makes it worse is that you asked her for her number *knowing that she has a boyfriend,* which likely made her feel all sorts of uncomfortable.
With that said, she probably gave you a fake number so you’d leave her alone and to prevent some potentially crazy shit from happening *because she doesn’t actually know you*.