Idk where to start but here I go anyways.. So I moved from India to Toronto, Canada about 7 months back. I am a student and as you would expect, my accent and grammar are dogwater. I used to be extroverted and GREAT with girls back in India- but definitely not the same here. Please read the whole thing before you judge but I could never get myself to like women here, the reason being poor communication from my side (\^T\_T). And idk if I am ugly but here’s a vague description- I am 21 yo, 6′, a year into working out, 6 abs, fairly low body fat, brown to light skin, dark hair and beard, done short and clean by a stylist. I am shortsighted and wear blue contacts in public (which multiple people have told me look really cool) I can not like someone if we don’t communicate, right? Whatever I say could be followed by a “sorry?” or “pardon” from the other person, which is demotivating. Thanks to the accent I grew up with, I often end up as someone unintelligible to the locals. SO NOW, uh, I actually ended up really liking someone. I feel like she is COMPLETELY out of my league (she doesn’t think so but it really is true). How she ended up being the only girl I ended up falling for is because we talked A LOT on texts and so both sides are very clear. I feel like I have talked to her over text more than most of my partners back in India. Meanwhile, our communication irl is close to null, again because I am always scared the other person would not understand what I said… I sent her a post-workout snap just the other day and she replied with something like “OMG I AM SO GLAD I SAW THAT” so I try to believe she does not find me plain unattractive, physically. I am not sure what to do tho. If this was still India and I could speak my language, I would have asked her out as a joke. But that won’t work for me here. I can not describe the affinity I have with her but I hope it’s not just my imagination. I am scared to show her how boring I can be irl and something simple as a date could make her realize that. I am sorry if I appear far too diffident but my inability to communicate like a local completely changed me over time. I am looking for some good advice. What would someone do in my situation? I never felt this attached to someone since high school and I can’t even hold a convo irl. FEELSBADMAN.
Alright, let me hit everyone who read the whole thing with the generic “sorry for my bad English”. thank you to whoever decides to answer.
1 comment
It’s 100% normal for you to feel the way you do because you are in a new country, have an accent that you have found can be a barrier to communication and has even lowered your confidence. Nothing out of the ordinary here. I live in a city with lots of immigrants, and they’re at they got over this insecurity was practicing their pronunciation and using text if something hints were still a bit unclear. As for your romantic endeavor. My question is why do you think she’d find you boring if she appears to respond to you positively? I think you should work on building your peer relationship with her, so you and her can get to know each other better, and see how she responds. This includes speaking to her more irl instead of relying solely on text. If she keeps responding to you positively, and you feel more confortable, I would ask her out face-to-face. To me it sounds like you just need to get more comfortable with yourself.