Wife’s Lack of Desire Makes Me Feel Like a Sexless Robot

I know that women say this all of the time, so I guess in a way I am feeling what many of them have felt for Ages.

I know I have a past and have discussed it at length in other posts and threads. But for the first time ever, life seems to be going great.

I have started a new job in an Amazon Fulfillment center and am loving it. I feel like this job was designed for people with ADHD. It may be simple, but it ain’t easy. It is fast paced, detail oriented, but without the stuff I hate. I am working hard to make the job permanent (means meeting quotas) but am highly motivated, and am planning on talking to supervisors about working up in the company.

This allows me to permanently separate my intellectual life from my professional one. I can feel free to read whatever damn book I want and not feel guilty (this relates to a lifetime trying to meet my parents expectations, not my wife), and I do.

I also spend more time with our kid because I am spending less on looking for ways into other fields. I’ve accepted my path and life is easier now.

My wife wants to be a SAHM so I feel like me settling down with this path is great for her too, as I am more focused and streamlined with what I want, so I waste less time on distractions and have more time for her. I can enjoy myself with things like reading and be more effective, because I am not distracted by BS, so hobbies don’t compete with her anymore.

AA is going great, recovery is going great, job is going great.

Sex has been the only hang up. Right now sex isn’t very convenient, so I am not too concerned with it at the moment. I am still working out a schedule that fits working nights, with switching back to being around during the day on my days off. And she is looking after our 3 year old son all day, so she ends the day exhausted.

I’m not upset about not having sex right now because I don’t see a way that we could be having it at the moment. We are still getting life in order.

It is more that I don’t see any desire at all from her that upsets me. We go through our days fine enough, but I don’t feel the attraction from her anymore.

I feel like I am getting into the best shape I have ever been and it doesn’t make a difference. Sometimes I look down during a shower and am surprised there is anything there because my wife basically acts like she believes there isn’t.

I’m not going to cheat because it is wrong, but also because it wouldn’t make me feel any better anyway. I want the woman who says she loves me to look at my body, not someone else.

Just aggravated. I guess I will keep on living and keep on getting better.