Our relationship was amazing in a lot of way; great communication, tons of common interests, both driven, both pushed for the best from the other, prioritized each other well and understood each other, best friends.
Except for one thing.
She has an incredibly low sex drive (ie once a month+) and I have a high sex drive (several times a week.) This was the only issue within our relationship that we couldn’t work through. We kept it up because of how well we fit in other ways. I’ve dated a handful of people but noone has ever made me feel the way she makes me feel.
It got to the point where I began to just leave the sex in her court so that she could go at her pace, but she would begin to constantly feel guilty about not having sex. That was the reason for the breakup. I am the only person she has ever been with and needs answer to know if it was just our relationship or that that is who she is. Which I understand and hope that she finds someone who she can feel more comfortable.
That is all something I can live with, and not the part that really sucks.
I have to stop talking/hanging out with her. I have to leave my best friend behind. When we hangout, all of those feelings still exist for both of us. I go on dates and think about her. I can’t give myself to someone else if she is still within my life. She was the girl I wanted to marry, to lay everything down for. Maybe one day we can be friends again but the hardest part is envisioning my life without her as even a friend, which is something I need to start pushing for now if I want to heal.
This is the only path right? No contact?
TL;DR: I need to go no contact with my ex despite how much it will hurt because it will be the only way to heal.
2 comments
Maybe you can have a real friendship someday, but not while you still have feelings for her, and the feelings won’t go away while you are still spending time with her.
Yes. My boyfriend and I broke up at the two month mark (over something we have now fixed, yay) and he wanted to be friends and I said no. We got back together and things are going great (together for over 2 years now and live together). But I told him no matter what I wouldn’t have him in my life as just friends. We are deeply best friends and it’s great! I just love him so much it would tear me apart to see him with someone else.
I think you’re doing the right thing for your mental health.