I (28M) could use some advice on my current situation.
I have been spiraling a bit lately on the series of events that are happening in my life and how I can best circumvent them.
Background: I accepted a job in Germany (Frankfurt area) 4 months ago and have been prepping to move. I am currently 28 and will be in Germany for 5 years as this job is a temporary rotational job. On top of causing a bit of strain on my friendships and family due to me leaving so far away this caused my relationship with now ex girlfriend to break off due to the impending stress of distance. I am grieving the relationship as is normal and trying not to let the grief overcome me as I truly thought she was the one. So I am now single and alone waiting for my future job to setup the travel paperwork for me to start my new life in Germany.
What I need advice on: How should I best handle dating while in a new country temporarily? Should I look to date anyone seriously with me leaving again in some odd years? Will coming back at the age of 33 be too old to date seriously when I get back? I am very worried for my love life over the next 5 years and am wondering if anyone has experienced something like this that can offer some advice.
5 comments
Apps or meet in person
First, whatever is going on with your previous girl and whatnot, skip it. If you two wanted each other badly, you’d make it work; now you know it wasn’t for good.
Second, don’t stress about it too much. Seriously. Either focus on your job, or your personal life. Don’t live to work, work to live–whatever that means to you.
Dating while “temporarily” overseas isn’t bad, but it’s always iffy. In my region, it’s expected for people like me to bounce in a few years, so it’s always a bit stressful. You can have fun as much as you want, sure, but as you get older and want something more substantial, those people tend to shy away. Either you focus on staying where you are, establishing a career and be prepared to separate yourself from family and friends for extended periods of time; or you meet someone who’d like to go overseas, but they are a wild mixed bag of crazy often.
American who has lived in China, Taiwan and the UK and for me it’s the same as back home: APPs, work, friends of friends and odd encounters.
So why not date as you always do but if you WANT something serious try and find someone with similar goals? I’m not planning on living in Taiwan forever and my gf and I are both trying to find work/grad school somewhere else in the next year or two, maybe you could do something similar.
Learn the culture beforehand.
Also learn the roles of the males and females.
Learn the language, and talk to women in German no matter how bad you are at it. You want to be understood, but not fluent. Other cultures find it endearing, but don’t realize it.