I was seeing this guy we met on a dating app in July. We texted for a while and at the end of August, we went on our first date. After the first date (we met at Starbucks and then we went to a park and out to eat) I started going to his house on a weekly basis once a week. This went on for a month we cuddled and watched movies together and had sex. I brought him food and we cooked together once. And also brought him dinner once. At one point he even told me to forget about other men. And he was actually talking about how we were going to do things together. At the end of September, he told me he didn’t want to date even though he thought he wanted to and that he doesn’t have time for anything. And that he’s busy and preoccupied with work. He said he was sorry and that he knew it wasn’t fair to me. I went off on him because I was so upset. And I left his underwear on his porch. I did apologize to him via voicemail.
I was in a car accident last week and I called him because I was really scared. We talked and he told me I’d be fine (I was worried that something bad was going to happen) as long as I was ok. I told him I was going to pick up some things I left at his house. He said he left them on the porch I went over there to pick them up. But I couldn’t do it so I just drove off.
I haven’t talked to him since Sunday when I asked him if I could borrow one of his books. He said he doesn’t let people borrow anything from him. I really wish we could at least be friends because talking to him helps me. I feel so comfortable with him and this is all difficult for me. I know we haven’t known each other for that long though. I think if I hadn’t of went off on him things wouldn’t be like this. He’s not my ex because we were never actually together.
*Even though he doesn’t want to date I would like for us to be friends. I’ve started talking to other men on FB dating. I have already apologized via voicemail.*
**TLDR**
7 comments
You just need to move on as best you can. Continuing to bother him is not going to go over well
I would leave the guy alone. I mean, you left his underwear on his porch. No man forgets that lol.
Don’t text him any more. Don’t call him when you are in a crisis. Don’t go over to apologize in person. He’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to date you, he doesn’t want to be your friend, and he doesn’t want to provide you with emotional support you crave. Believe him.
I don’t think your rant had anything to do with it. He had already decided it wasn’t working out for him, which happens sometimes, even when things seemed to go really well at the beginning. But instead of letting it go, you have been acting like a real pest. How would you like it if a guy kept pleading with you to at least be his friend, after you told him it was over?
If you are lonely for friends, I’d recommend volunteering for a local non-profit with a mission you strongly support. You’ll instantly have something in common with your fellow volunteers and staff, and it’s a good way to form strong friendships based on shared interests. IMO it’s often more effective than the dating apps for turning up good romantic opportunities as well. I met someone special this way, and he’s now my husband.
You’ve posted at least three times about this. This man does not want to be your friend. Leave him alone and find someone who does.
If you’re in a crisis, a guy you dated for 3 months and who dumped you is NOT the person to call.
I think you should just stop including him in your life. You two had something fun and nice, but it seems like right now he’s not in the head space for something serious. Kudos to him for telling you instead of continuing to date and lead you on.
Be happy that he was honest with you, but focus on devoting your energy to other men. There are definitely others who are seeking a relationship like you.
These are not the actions of a man who wants to be your friend. If I’m wrong, he will call you.