Hey All,
TLDR at the end.
I attended my third sex party recently where i experience anxiety related impotence. I have never gotten performance issues before in my life, outside of the effects of alcohol or drugs.
Each time I’ve gone to a sex party, mentally I have been ecstatic to be there, excited to see all the random people play, thrilled to be exploring the space and playing with my partner.
The first 2 parties were a bit of a bar/nightclub vibe which didn’t suit me. The loud music and lights overwhelmed my senses.
The most recent party I went to was the perfect setting and vibe I could have asked for. It had the vibe of a house party between good friends. We played spin the bottle and chatted heaps, it was awesome.
However despite the mental glee I was experiencing, my body was having a different experience when the play started.
Now my heart’s racing, my adrenaline’s kicking in, my skin’s tingling. I can only describe it as the same sensation I feel when I’m really scared even though mentally I was not afraid at all.
It was a mood killer for me and from there I tended to fixate on it too much which led to internal frustration towards the end of the night. I have since learned that I was putting too much pressure on myself to perform.
I’m aware of that now, no need to tell me of the perils of sex party jitters, I’m just detailing my experience at the time.
I spoke to the organiser who was incredibly reassuring and comforting, helped me be less hard on myself about it and how normal of an experience it was.
I’ve read about it since and learned that it’s an insanely common experience, however, it doesn’t have a term associated with it that I know of, just stress/anxiety. Made it difficult to google and find similar experiences from other men at first, I had to really dig and most of the stories I read were ED issues not that similar to mine.
**Question/TLDR:**
Is there a word to describe the anxiety we feel during sex party encounters?
Does anyone have any insight into what’s happening in a physiological sense?
3 comments
I don’t know if there’s a specific sex party term but it’d be called performance anxiety.
Maybe on some level you feel like you have something to prove to yourself or others instead of just having fun, and the anxiety about not being able to do that causes you this physical discomfort.
But I’m not a therapist, speaking to one about it might really help you.
Performance anxiety. Happens a lot in the lifestyle. Worrying too much or getting stuck in your head. I’ve been there on occasion. I try to just refocus and relax. I found that I cannot show up, fuck and go. I have to warm up a bit, some making out, flirting, playing. Helped me a lot when I was still going to parties.