Hey, I’m a guy I’m 24 years old. I don’t have any kind of experience with women so I read this book called “models” by mark Manson which made me understand dating is a numbers game. So I’d like to know statistically according to the experience of any of you how many women it takes to talk to to get 1 close. I live in Miami (which makes it a little harder cause there’s too much competition here) I’m white, 5’9, I’m not ugly but not hot lol, I’m skinny (I started the gym), I’m funny according to most people, I live with my parents, I make $30k a year and I have braces. So I’d like to hear some of your experiences to get motivated to go and talk to women and according to my features how good or bad do these type of guys do
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I’m inclined to suspect on par with national lottery
The fact that you would publicly refer to successfully picking up a woman as a “kill” means you got more problems than braces and being skinny. Pick up artists are full of shit. Dating isn’t a numbers game, it’s a luck game. It’s only a numbers game if all you want is sex.
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Bruh how is the biggest thing you got from Models the idea of a numbers game? What about demographics, polarization (which is literally about reducing the number to improve the chances of making quality connections), and the whole chapter on making yourself as attractive as possible?
Can’t say. Maybe you should get out and approach for a while and report back to us
Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I think its outdated- it probably worked a lot better in the 1990’s when women didn’t have other options for meeting guys outside of their social network. I could say I think of myself as well above average, and by the time I gave up on cold approaches (and met my ex-girlfriend through friends) I had exactly one that worked. If I was a merely average guy, I don’t think it would have ever worked at all.
I was at a classical music concert with my mother, and I bumped in to her during the intermission. We chatted a bit and realized that we used to live in the same city and had common musical tastes. She also thought my mom was cool (which she is.). When the concert was over, I walked up to her and told her I thought she was cute and got her number. The date was underwhelming so it never went anywhere. She wore sweatpants…
So I never had success, but I will say I had a lot of fun. I was looking to date to marry, I think maybe if I had been trying to hook up with the less savory type of person I might have had a smidgen more success with that demographic.
When I first started cold approaches I was absolutely terrible and really embarrassed myself sounding like a cheesy pickup artist. I even had one time when this woman I was taking the elevator with bolted out at top speed when the elevator got to her floor! I have pretty thick skin for social embarrassment but I think that gives you the kind of idea. Personally, I don’t take issue with your “sales” mentality as some others have; dating has become a brutal “market” and you have to kind of own that unless you can find a girl like my amazing ex who doesn’t approach life with a market mentality. As I went on and got better, the rejections became much softer and it sort of became a game for me, rejection went from being miserable to being fun. It also helped me a lot with my “real” dating game, by which I mean what you might call “warm” approaches to women I have common friends with and things like that.
I started keeping a spreadsheet whenever I would go out, and I would write down why I thought women were rejecting me, what I could have done better etc. I noted the best places to strike up conversations. Target, surprisingly, was way better than cafes. Women in cafes were always staring at their phones or devices, and always seemed bothered when I started to talk to them. In fact most of the time I would stop long before asking for a number, because I could tell I was being a bother. I’ve always been a very social person and I love talking to people and people generally loved talking to me, it was weird where it was like women had a “spidey sense” for the fact that I was trying to get a date with them, and the moment I would start mentioning how I was going to this cool party at a friend’s house on the weekend but I needed someone in a matching costume their enthusiasm would go from 9 to 0 hahaha.
Anywho, I learned a lot from it as a sort of social experiment, and I had a lot of fun. It also got me out of the house going to all kinds of strange events I wouldn’t normally go to, and I made some lasting friends from those events. But I definitely wouldn’t recommend it if you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers anyway, or in fact at all because it won’t work lol. But I did keep a sort of tally and I figured that I had tried to cold approach something like 90 women, actually gotten to the point of asking and getting rejected by about 30, and getting 2 phone numbers and 1 date. In the amount of time I spent, I probably could have gone to 50 speed dates or gotten swiped-left on by every woman in my greater metropolitan area.
I think the default male behavior is for guys to be the ones to “hit on” women — the “shotgun” approach. And in this way it may become a “numbers game”? But this strategy isn’t in line with who I am and I don’t like the position it puts women in. Treat women as the people they are — someone you could have been born as! Try to read the other person’s body language, and know the time and place, instead of hitting on anyone that walks.
stats wont help you. and tbh emotional landscape is very different…do you & be the best you
How about starting hobbies and trying to make friends there? Cold approaching in 2022 is not going to well and if you don’t have a lot of experience you will get demoralized fast.
Just try to be social and make friends, everyone has girl friends so you might get lucky and randomly meet someone.
Just be yourself and be honest, tell them you’re interested. If they’re worth your time, they’ll appreciate the honesty for what it is and consider dating you.
Female here .. it seems to me that you want to “cold approach” women that you deem to be out of your league (based solely on looks)… I suggest stop going after girls based on looks only. If a girl smiles, smile back and say hi.. if not, don’t approach her.
I don’t know anything about the book you read but I suggest you to read the Mystery’s books “The Mystery Method” and “The Pick Up Artist”.
The books are old but the woman’s mindset is the same – these are those books “oldies but goodies”. Even if you date IRL with a woman that you find on tinder, it will be a stage in your relationship when you still must escalate, push-pull, maybe negging her and you will use all kinds of concepts from those books (maybe you will use them without even knowing what you do but you will recognize your actions if you read the book).
Consider that the guy who wrote those books has a better life experience than all of us and he knows what he said, you can not ignore it only because they do not mention dating apps in the book or maybe you just take a sentence and you judge it without to know the entire context. I saw many youtubers telling about Mystery that he is outdated when in reality they are trying to sell you THEIR method…. it is a weird marketing method to try to sell you their products but in this way, at least you can see who to avoid trusting.
Cold approach is a valuable method, applicable everywhere
You have only to respect the real (not ostensible) boundaries of women and refrain from rudeness